Hello, last week my wife walked out on our almost 4 year marriage as she says she has fallen out of love with me she has taken our 2 children with her to her mothers. The thing that i find so unfair is that my wife before discussing the problems fully with me decided that counseling would not work, she has changed my life, her life and most importantly our children’s lives for the rest of our lives just because she did not want to try counseling.
I am not saying that it would have caused reconciliation but the question will always be there, and i did not feel it was her choice to make, it was ours. She has decided vocally anyway that she does not want maintenance but is talking about me setting up a trust fund for the kids with maybe one hundred pounds per child a month in it for their future, whether it be college, car etc. Most importantly is access to the kids, my wife wants to move closer to her mothers and i want to stay here because of work and fact i have to have something stable in my life right now not a problem once i get a car (she took that too) distance wise, but when school comes into the equation i will only be able to see them at weekends.
She is already looking for a job near her family and is obviously planning her life out so if i turn round and say that she should stay in this area i know things could get very nasty my children are with me this weekend in our house (first time i have seen them in a week) and already i feel like they are visitors, it is late Friday night as i write this and already my stomach is churning thinking about when she takes them away from me on Sunday it does not help that i am still in the house (which we are going to sell) as the memories are deep i am trying to get over my wife leaving (she said it is nothing i have done, but i wish it was as least i could justify it then) but to her it so cut and dried, getting used to living alone again is weird as i have lived with her for twelve years i am kinda getting sick of hearing my own voice as i depress my friends and drain them emotionally i know everything is still very raw, but my wife is so cold, level headed and clear about everything she said it is because she did her grieving 2 months ago (at the time she told me her depression was due to hormones and i kept telling her to see her GP but she said it was not depression).
Three weeks before she left she told me it was us that was making her unhappy she did not love me and did not find me physically attractive and did not think she ever would again we worked out ways to at least get to know each other again as the kids left us no time for each other but she has since said she had already made her decision she has said she will go to counseling to help me get over it. My life is in tatters just because she was not honest with me, different things keep popping in my head like, i will not be there for my kids as they grow up, i will not have anything to do with their schooling, Christmas apart, birthdays just a million things i know this sounds silly but when they arrived they had new haircuts and clothes that my wife had picked and i felt like they were being dropped off to the weekend babysitter anyway sorry to ramble on but i am just after any support or advice thanks for listening Chris
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