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Wife Left & No Longer Wants To See Kids

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My wife left me for her childhood sweetheart she reconnected with through Facebook. She has moved away from our area to set up home with this guy and is now pregnant by him. How do I tell the kids that their mum no longer wishes to have any contact with them ever again without them feeling totally worthless and knocking their self-confidence through the floor?

She phoned to say she is cutting off all contact with us. The kids will be asking soon when she is due to see them. Eldest boy has been texting his mum but gets no reply. What the hell do I say to them – the boys are 10 and 12 and I don’t think “Mam really loves you but…” is going to explain this one away.

Do I act like its a temporary thing and give them false hope? This is just going to totally destroy them if I’m not careful here. Help! Thanks Alistair.


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3 thoughts on “Wife Left & No Longer Wants To See Kids”

  1. You will have to do what Paul suggests because otherwise you will look the baddy ie the kids might think that you are deliberately stopping mum seeing them. How about asking the kids to write to her , once you have told them? let her feel like the b**ch that she is when she can see and read how they feel. She may delete a text message but will definitely read a letter. Just reassure your children that its not their fault and let them know how much you love them.

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  2. What a dreadful dreadful thing to do, and a heartbreaking situation for you too. If she’s going to behave like such a bitch, SHE should have the courage of her convictions and tell the boys why, not you ! But, like the guys say, you can’t lie about this for fear of giving them false hopes as you recognise. I think you must tell the truth but temper it with more truths along the lines of “I don’t know why mum is doing this, I *hope* it’s going to be temporary but we can’t count on that, *maybe* mum is going through some sort of breakdown because that’s why people sometimes behave in a very hurtful way, ……” Has she given you any hint as to why? Is this really for ever more? Are there any relatives who may be able to mediate? Obviously I don’t need to tell you that the boys will need lots of reassurance from you – I’m sure you’ve been doing that in heaps already. You may find that they take out their anger on you as the person they really want to hit out at isn’t around. I’m really sorry I don’t know what else to say.

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