I’d really appreciate some views or advice please as I just don’t know what to do for the best. Sorry it’s a long one: My wife left me for BF (ex-friend of mine) about a year ago and we’re now divorced. I kept the kids (9, 7 and 4) and although she doesn’t give me any maintenance money she only works part time and still comes to my house to take and collect the kids from school so that I can go to work, so effectively I employ her as a nanny.
This means that they see her virtually every day but live at home with me. Unfortunately it also means that I see her every day too and I find it very difficult to deal with (we rarely speak). I am thinking of moving house so that I’m closer to work (I have an hour commute each way) but this could mean that the existing arrangement would have to end and I would have to probably take them to school myself before work (which would be fine) and arrange childcare between the end of school and my working day (which I could also do).
However it would also mean the kids seeing less of their mother, which she is not at all happy with. I’ve discussed it with the kids and they seem ok with the idea (but they’re too young to understand the effects). I’m never going to move out and leave the kids, firstly because I won’t and secondly because the elder two have told me that they want to stay with me and not her – so please don’t suggest this as a solution.
I want to know whether you think it would be ok for my kids to move so that their mother doesn’t see them every day and they spend more time with a nanny. I also think it might help me to move on if I didn’t have to see her all the time – but I don’t know, so I need your advice. I could move half way and keep the existing arrangements but I’d still be seeing her everyday, am I wrong to want to put an end to this and move the whole way? Thanks Mike.