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Wife is having an affair – she is openly seeing another man!

Hi, can anyone out there help? I recently separated after 23 years with my partner (21 married, happily or so i thought!) It seems she has been having an affair for five years and another relationship for 15 years with a work colleague.

I have tried counseling etc but two years down the line I am ready to move on trouble is she won’t leave let me be, she thinks that now that she has come clean she can do what she wants (She is currently away with her new man again this weekend) and openly has this relationship from our joint marital home. I feel abused and unable to get on with my own life, my sons are confused and angry with us both and my life is on hold. What should i do? I refuse to fight in-front of the boys and want a clean break financially. Alex

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3 thoughts on “Wife is having an affair – she is openly seeing another man!

  1. What a selfish horrible woman she is. You must think of yourself and the boys, something your wife obviously has not done for a long time. I was not married for anything like the length of time you were, but I still understand the sense of betrayal you will be feeling. When you think of all the lies you have been told it makes everything that has happened during your time together feel spoiled and dirty. What you must remember, although I found in hard at first, is that you haven’t done anything wrong and you are not to blame. She is a fool to throw her family away in this way. My wife is still in my house but she will go as soon as I give her the money she is after. Take it one day at a time and talk to your friends it is difficult and very painful but it will get better. Be open and honest with your lads and even though they may be angry now, they will realise that there is only one person to blame and will be there to support you. Good luck Alex, don’t forget you are not on your own. Try to take control of your life as best you can and don’t let her dictate how things pan out.

  2. I feel for you. My wife has been having an affair and although I had all the evidence she would not admit it. She also refused to let me move on. It has taken me a year to get strong enough to decide to leave, not the perfect answer, but to me the only solution without really messing my kids up. I don’t have the answer for you but please be assured that others understand and feel for you and wish you well. When you are betrayed in a long term relationship it makes everything that you have had together seem based on a lie – the house built on sand… The only advice I would give is, work out a way to get out of this relationship – in my own experience a person who can have an affair and not express any remorse for it will NEVER change, and each word she says you see as a lie – not a great way to live. You deserve better! Good luck.

  3. My wife has also had an affair and still tells ridiculous stories about where she has been/what she has been doing, and I know damn well what she is really doing! For a long time I lived with a sick feeling in my stomach when she was out, and the pressure of living like that was terrible. She was able to see me change into a wreck and still did not and would not change even though I told her the marriage was at risk. I believe people like this have an ability to ignore their conscience and almost justify it, and tell themselves that they are not doing anything wrong – even now she thinks it is MY fault the marriage is over!!! These people (men and women) are seriously dangerous to your mental health and while I still feel guilty (WHY????) about ending the marriage I realise I have to for my own sanity. As commented SHE is the one who has done wrong, not you!

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