Many women learn a very sad truth about men once they get into a long term relationship with them – men can be very very sexually lazy. Not me, you think, not understanding how this could possibly happen to any man who considered himself a red blooded heterosexual. Okay, maybe not you, but more men than you can even imagine fall prey to a few big culprits that kill sexual creativity:
Sexual Gratification Is Pretty Easy For Men to Achieve
Men love sex, that’s obvious, but what’s less obvious is that the ease with which men usually obtain sexual pleasure aides in them becoming lazy. Since you can accomplish an orgasm relatively easily, men forget that there’s a vast erotic world to be discovered and explored. It’s also extremely difficult for men to understand that attaining sexual pleasure is often a far bigger challenge for women than it is for men. Men don’t usually mean to be so self centered and selfish sexually, they just can’t imagine what a challenge it is for many women to even get to the point of experiencing the same pleasure they do.
Life’s Demands Distract Your Focus
Life is tough. Life is demanding. Just earning a living, dealing with family and friends, taking care of a home (even if it’s just an apartment) can eat away at your time and energy, living you feeling like you don’t have anything left for a fabulous sex life. And guess what? If you feel this way, it’ll become the truth of your existence. All of us are guilty of falling into a rut once in awhile, but what you don’t want to happen is to allow this rut to grind its way into a deep groove. Sex is like a muscle…stop using it and it loses its strength, agility and stamina.
The Belief That Sex Is Dirty
Many of us have been raised with the message that our sexuality, especially our desire, is something that we should be ashamed of. This negative message is relayed so strongly, and so persuasively, to some people (even men) that even in a committed relationship they feel stifled and guilty if they even imagine trying something other than the most ordinary sexual encounters – again and again (and again).
So now that we’ve seen the traps that men can fall into to make them sexually lazy, now let’s look at some ways to not only avoid them, but to move forward into new thinking, and new ways to rev things up:
Recognize That Women Have a Bigger Challenge Sexually
Women have a truly wonderful, fantastic ability – we can have multiple orgasms without little or no down time in between. Nature, however, has evened the score by giving women complicated sexual plumbing that takes not only longer to get aroused, but often has a much tougher time achieving orgasm.
Many women don’t believe they deserve to take the time and energy to learn how to accomplish sexual gratification – not by themselves, and certainly not with a lover. The number of women who lie about whether or not they experience orgasms is astonishing. If you woman isn’t asking for more, isn’t letting you know she’d like to drag you off to the bedroom (or some other exciting place) then you need to find out what’s going on. She may have emotional or physical challenges she’s dealing with – but more often than not she’s just not enjoying sex as much as you are. Orgasms are not the end all be all in sex, but they are extremely important. If you’re having the majority of them it’s no wonder your gal would rather watch a movie.
Be Open to Learning New Things
Have you fallen into a routine in regards to your sexual encounters? Have your special moves become your only moves? Is it time for you to crack open a new book, or do some research on the internet in order to expand your sexual horizons? Don’t wait for your lover to start yawning before you venture forth to learn something new. The world is full of fantastic, positive information about how to improve your sex life and make it fun, exciting and adventurous. Make use of it!
Remind Yourself to Make Time for Sex
I don’t care if you have to make up a code word and post stick it notes on your bathroom mirror, your refrigerator and/or your calendar – make time for your sex life. You may think this is a silly thing to do if you happen to be single. No sir. Your single time is your learning time, it’s your preparation time, and it’s your getting ready time. Don’t waste it!
If you’re in a romantic relationship and it’s getting tougher and tougher to set aside time to get your groove on set up formal dates with each other and do everything you can not to break them.
Mix It Up
It is said that the definition of insanity is someone who keeps trying things the same way and expects different results. Is that you with your sex life? Are you just sure that your woman could really enjoy doggy style if she’d just relax and get into it? I’ve got news for you. Some women just aren’t going to enjoy doggy style, and for some women it’s just downright painful if you’re long enough and your little head’s banging against her cervix. Be a man and get over it. There are plenty of other positions out there to explore and enjoy. Copying your favorite porn films doesn’t make you a stud, what makes you a stud is how much women really enjoy being with you.
Some men have no problem trying new things so long as they’re at a particular time of day, or in the safety of their own beds. Is that you? Are you stuck on morning sex? Are you stuck on sex at home in your own bed? Remember the brain is the biggest sexual organ in the body. Just the anticipation of sex in a new location (even if it’s just a hotel) can really get both of your libidos going.
Please Submit Your Own Story…
Please consider sharing your story with others suffering now. How you coped? How you felt? What helped? What were the circumstances that led up to your separation? How do you cope with loneliness? The more you can share the better.
Your story really does help others who are going through the same gut wrenching pain. Your story reinforces the fact that they are not alone in their suffering.