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What to do when you have no friends and are bored

My Loneliness Story – By Arry:

I am very creative person and its how I pay my bills. Need a graphics designer or a motion graphics expert? I’m the one to call. Even though having these skills ensured that I had all I needed, I’m a very lonely man. At times being alone helps me to be more creative because I am always in my head trying to think of more creative ideas, yet it is no way to live as it has cost me a lot.

Even though I grew up in a tightly knitted family, having most of my friends and family stay around me, I don’t see any of them since I became fed up with socializing. The ones that tried to keep in touch, I sort of pushed them away and they stopped when they had enough of my indifferent attitude. My luck changed from someone who used to have a lot of families and friends around to mingle with, to someone who couldn’t even see a missed call on his phone for two days.

As an individual who felt uniquely talented, I became self absolved in myself and felt most people that I know were not worth my time, effort, and intellect. I interacted with people on the surface and never wanted to feel vulnerable, so I had no deep relationship and was alone. My life continued this way till I just couldn’t continue with a boring life of solitude. So I tried socializing again by hanging out with the boys. Though I had fun most times, but on getting home I just crash emotionally and feel so empty inside. Shouldn’t going out be a way of overcoming loneliness? Why isn’t it working for me?

I decided at a time to get into a relationship. I figured I may be missing some company and needed someone to get involved with at an emotional level. She was good company at first but I started to retract emotionally from her because we were having several misunderstandings and couldn’t relate at the level I wanted. We broke it off and I guess it broke her more than I expected. I haven’t gotten into any relationship since then. Sometimes I look back and blame myself for being too difficult and not trying to tolerate our differences. I let my ego get in the way of me finding love and I doubt if I’ll ever get a second chance.

Since any prolonged contact with people leaves me feeling very low, I decided to use alcohol to smooth out the rough spots. From waking up in a ditch covered with vomit, to embarrassing myself, alcohol has cost me a lot. It even made me miss out on some important opportunities. I just had to stop because I was afraid my health will be at risk if I kept up with binge drinking. So now I barely have anything to drink. Now I spend every day in front of my computer filling the time between waking up and going to sleep. I keep myself stable, not too happy, not too sad, so that I don’t crash anymore. Anyway, I’ll not drone on.

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7 thoughts on “What to do when you have no friends and are bored”

  1. Hiya Arry, I was invited by a friend who is in Belgium with his girlfriend, to do a trip to Austria with both of them plus a girl (to make 2 couples)… Well… I don’t know any girl that would accept to come with me, even though it will probably be a great trip… I try to stay away from bad thoughts in order to avoid depression, but the truth is… I’m completely alone here! And everyone is out there having social lives, dating, loving and here I am, a goddam vegetable sitting in front of a computer screen, doing web design..!

  2. Arry loneliness is merely a mental state of mine like depression and happiness. I’m overly sure you know people where your from and have opportunities to interact. It’s to you to beat your own self doubt and take that first step, even a person who isn’t outgoing, and outgoing or not is also a state of mind, can strike up a conversation. Simply start with ‘How are you doing?’ most of the time that’ll strike up a conversation right there.

    It’s fear that compels you to be the way you are and you just have to beat that from your mind. Being here and typing to reach out shows you can socialize, all you have to do is apply that to real life and go for broke, what is the worst that can happen? Being blown off? Just shows how immature the other person was.

    Well that is my two cents, if it helps good. If not, sorry wish I could help more.

  3. Hey don’t worry about posting here, everyone needs to get things off there chest every now and then and this is a fairy safe place to do it. Life can bring you down at times and be tough. Try to spend some time on yourself. Everyone changes over time and maybe you no longer know who you are. Find out your likes and dislikes and get to know yourself once again. Try new things. You new know it may just help. Best of luck

  4. Hi 2cents, not to attack your assistance here but depression is not only merely a emotional state. For some it is and for others it isn’t. Depression is a mental illness that can be very debilitating and is experienced by 1 in 10 Australians, sorry don’t know the American stats on this. There are tests for it and the doctors can prescribe medication for it. If anyone reading this has been feeling depressed for over a 12 month period and hasn’t been to the doctors to get checked out please do. Just because you may need medication does not mean that you are weak. Medication helps the chemicals in your brain get back to the correct level and allows you to then work on the issues that are making you feel depressed. In most cases people are then able to come off the medication. Other will need it for the rest of their lives. It is not a weakness just a chemical affect. You are not alone the statistics show that. Don’t be a person to suffer in silence. That only leads to a destructive path. You are a better person than that. Care for yourself and then others will then be able to care for you too. Take care and live smart.

  5. Howdy Arry, You should let go of your fears and actually get to interact with those around you. Constantly sitting in front of your computer can never be the same as actually having a good time out with friends. The decision to get out there all lies entirely with you, you can’t solve your problem of social isolation if you continue to lock yourself up.

  6. I think the main reason why you crash emotionally after having a good time with friends is because you don’t have much to go back to. While you might be in the midst of people that are radiating with joy, you can only feel the happiness when you are with them. Thus, you become left alone to deal with your demons when you are on your own. Concisely, you have to resolve your problems and be truly happy before you can really derive any form of joy from social interactions and gatherings.

  7. Its good to know that you gave up on drinking. Most people suffering from loneliness drown themselves in alcohol choosing it as a temporary fix to their problem as it will make them fell numb and also make them forget their problems for a short while. They end up waking up the following day only to stare at the same problem again, becoming sad throughout the day as they drown in the ocean of depression. The issue is; alcohol might free your mind of your predicament temporarily, it would not in any way solve it. You might even get addicted and become an alcoholic. My advice to every one is to avoid substance abuse and face their problems squarely, instead of running from them.

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