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Tired of being a single man

My Loneliness Story – By Alastair B:

Ever since I can remember, I have been a single child to my parents and never felt lonely. It wasn’t that I had playmates all the time but during that period of my life, I guess my mentality towards loneliness was different. I can simply just say that when I was younger, being alone did not necessarily mean being lonely. But as the years went by and I grew older, being alone brought new meaning. Loneliness opens a darkness within one’s soul, like a black hole that refuses to close up. It gets even worse when I realized that I couldn’t find anyone to share my life and dreams with.

Finding love for me was very difficult, I have tried the traditional ways of meeting women at parks, parties and other places but yet, no success.

So I took to online dating, this only worsened my situation. I’ve been cheated and lied at. It was stupid to find love on the net, but deep inside, even though I was hurt, I still believe that I will find that someone special with whom I can share my life and dreams with. It is highly selfish of me to feel I’m alone in this, there over a lot of people worldwide that are feeling exactly the way I feel. Being lonely may be inevitable for many people but it doesn’t have to come with the feel of being miserable.

Loneliness brings nothing but sadness, I’m not getting any younger yet the quest for happiness seems like a fantasy, something I can only experience in my dreams. Maybe I’m one of the unlucky guys, things has never really worked for me. I’m employed and yet I have no friends, I don’t get invited to parties either. I believe maybe and somehow, someday I’ll meet a lady who understands me and is happy to share her life with me. But even that thought still seems like a fairy tale, I feel like I’m cursed with this sickening feeling of loneliness. I just wake up every day trying to find a meaning to my existence, why is happiness eluding me? So far I haven’t gone miserable to the extent of considering suicide or something crazy.

No matter how much we try to elude loneliness, it will always be there-taking its own shape and form. I am glad to have seen this website. It’s enlightening that I am not the only person in the world, now I know there are millions of lonely people in all corners of the globe hoping to find their own meaning of happiness. I hope to find mine and I hope all you guys will be fortunate to find your happiness too. For the meantime, let us count our blessings while we can.

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7 thoughts on “Tired of being a single man

  1. All the people on here speak so much truth. Loneliness is such a tough feeling…it eats at you from the inside of your soul. I have friends, but I hardly see them anymore, and most of them I’m not really close with. I notice, whenever I do tend to get very close with a friend, somehow I get bitten in the ass by something that goes down, and somehow the friendship becomes lessened in some way.

    Also this summer I ran into an old flame from college and we had the most wild, amazing time together, and I fell in love with her, but it was not mutual. She mainly wanted to use me for my resources (car) and for a “friendship”.. But she was never a friend to me. I still feel like I’m holding a candle for this girl, even though she’s told me a million times what she really thinks and doesn’t want anything to do with me. Its sad actually. But I remember all the good times and reminisce often about it. I haven’t had many relationships at all and she was my first.

    I’m lonely now cause I know it will never come to mean anything. Lately I just don’t feel like trying, and wanting to crawl into a hole and not come out. I just get tired of trying, and tired of hoping. But we all press on. I recently started a new job, and I take classes in the evening so i stay busy. but i hope like someone else said on this board earlier that things do get better soon. having confidence, self esteem and faith helps.

  2. Loneliness is a figment of your imagination.

    Why? Cause it’s all inside your head. Want a way to stop being lonely? Stop thinking about being lonely. Step outside and try something new. Learn a new instrument, start reading stories, run instead of walking.

    Start doing things differently and you’ll start seeing things differently. And, hopefully, start meeting people differently.

    Oh yeah, one more thing… always ask people questions about themselves and their past. You’ll be surprised how much information you can actually utilise for yourself.

  3. Yeah I know how y’all feel. Girlfriend left me, then told me straight that she was cheating on me. feel like every time I meet someone, I fall head over heals in love, but they feel nothing for me. Think I might be alone forever. feel like I am getting old (37) wasting my life. every day is the same shade of grey, i just want someone to hold.

  4. I am very lonely & sad. I am getting older, and don’t have a mate. I wish i had someone i could hold, a soulmate. ever hear about the “girl that got away?” it was about me, and the love of my life that i once lost. i wish i could go back in time and do things over again. but it is too late, as she is moving far away. i am hoping getting this off of my chest, somehow changes the order of things for me and i meet the girl of my dreams. I can only wish.

  5. I’m touched by your story, Alastair. These days depression from loneliness is killing a lot of people. Especially when one cannot even find someone to relate to. The dating sites have a way of attracting and tricking people into believing in love on the net. I have had my fair share of battering from cheats and liars. I don’t believe in love but I do have faith in finding someone compatible, someone whose dreams or aspirations align with mine and most importantly, someone that I can be vulnerable with and share my life with.

    There is probably no way anyone in life will not encounter loneliness at some point, it all just boils down to how you handle it. I like the fact that you’re handling it well even though its also important you don’t wallow in it. Life is as beautiful as you want it to be. Stay optimistic!

  6. This site has been a blessing since I discovered it. I was going through a rough time in my life and suicide was looking quite attractive at the time. I had a good job and all but something was just missing. I was trapped in a dark hole guarded by the Cerberus of loneliness and I thought I was alone in this fight. No matter how complicated life may be, I have been strengthened by connecting with people just like me on this site. From your story, I can see that you are still in search of that special someone who you can relate to on just about anything. I’m certain you will find that person, persistence is important in floating in the sea of life. But never forget that no one lives forever and as such, you should cherish everything you have at this moment.

    Many good guys have been lied to and treated terribly by ladies. It’s just that unlike females, we suppress our hurt and feelings because that’s what society expects. That aside, Phoenix men are of a different specie, we rise from any ashes of unfavourable vicissitudes of life. Keep the fire blazing, Alastair. You are definitely not alone.

  7. One doesn’t truly understand loneliness during the childhood days. Those were times of playfulness and eagerness to be an adult. We’re adults now and many wish they could somehow magically discover a time machine and go back to those days where worries were nonexistent. But what’s life without some sort of challenge? Remember that it’s the stormy sea that makes a good sailor. Nevertheless, you must persevere and hold on to the joy life has to offer.

    As regards finding that special someone, I believe one has to resolve the inner conflict. Self love is a bright light that cannot be hidden, it’s simply contagious! I’m sure you must have met some people that you can’t but smile whenever they are around, that kind of joy cannot be bought with money. Finding someone special is like a bonus, the true gift you can give yourself is to eliminate loneliness and allow the bliss of life to infect every part of your system.

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