In seduction, playing hard to get is generally associated with females, gals who “hold out” for either the right guy or the right moment.
Playing hard to get has pros and cons, and women are not the only ones who play this game.
Men play hard to get for entirely different reasons than a female (most of the time) and both sexes have “motives” for exhibiting this push me, pull me behaviour.
Playing hard to get has more than one costume. Someone you perceive as playing hard to get just might be blowing you off in the nicest way possible, and you just don’t know it.
Don’t get confused because a person who is not interested is nothing like someone who is playing hard to get. Another disguise of this behaviour is the tease. Someone who is not just playing hard to get, they are playing never going to get.
These are some of the immediate and surface “cons” of the playing hard to get behaviour. Your instincts must be right on that this person you crave is in one form or another craving you back. If the person does not send you signals of approval or signals that play a conduit to promoting this behaviour, then they are not interested and are only being polite.
If they give you too many signals to continue leading you on, and it never ever goes past a certain plateau no matter what you do, then they are a tease. The tease will never produce or put out. When it comes down to put up or shut up the tease will always shut up. The have to because being a tease is the only card they have to play.
The real hard to get players have different reasons. Men have only 3 reasons to play hard to get, plain and simple. Men are so motivated by sex and conquests and variety, naturally, why would they play hard to get? The first reason is to get rid of women and not keep them around.
This is the first and main reason a man plays hard to get. It could be the girl next door or the girl in his office or the girl at the dry cleaners or the girl at the bank or the girl at the coffee shop. Any of them could be just waiting to just jump his bones, and they give the signs every time they see him, no matter how he is dressed.
In this first case scenario, there is usually something about the girl that says “don’t go there”. She might be homely, or she could be the needy type, or she just has some horrible laugh that hurts the ears. He maintains this behaviour to prolong the service aspect of the relationship, so she always continues to service him on a pedestal.
The second reason a guy plays hard to get is he can’t spoil the “pot”. In all the above scenarios, replace the needy homely girl with a beautiful girl, but now she is also working with other attractive females. He must be so coy with all of them until he chooses which one he wants.
He knows that his best move is to play hard to get with all of them. If he works in an office all day and there are 4 equally beautiful available women, he can flirt and play hard to get with all of them — until he picks one. Once he picks one in the group, he spoils the rest of the milk. The others wanted to be picked and in many cases it spoils any future chance with them. Ultimately, the second reason that a guy plays hard to get is because the group makes it hard to pick.
The third reason a guy plays hard to get is not a reason so much as a “motive”. “Cougars” or older females and wealthy women of any age can be very generous to a man who is not just sexy, but makes them feel sexy. When a man can randomly pick one of these gals and get her attention, it is because he knows if he treats her like a queen he could receive a king’s ransom.
This can be a major motivator for the seasoned player. The seasoned player will have his booty calls on the side to hold him off while he “teases” his potential prey until she breaks… the bank that is.
Why Girls Play Hard to Get
Ladies have the market cornered on playing hard to get. They really only come in 2 versions, money hungry and heart hungry. As stated earlier, men are motivated by sex (and such) but also the child in all of us wants what we can’t have. Ladies want to be paid as much as men for the work and be considered equals (quite a contradiction if you ever take a woman out to dinner).
She (your equal) wants you to open the door and when the dinner check comes could get an Academy Award for never even acknowledging that the meal had to be paid for. The women that play “hardest” to get really are out for the silver spoon, the golden ticket, the Benjamins. The word “booty” is actually derived from the era of pirates. The “booty” or “bounty” that the pirates stole was the “Treasure”.
Yes, “booty” means “treasure”.
The hardest to get women to know this and their theory is, “You want the treasure, you must pay for it”. These hardest to get players will not break. So don’t try.
The second version of the hard to get gal is heart hungry. This version is a good catch! She has the right reasons in mind and even has to test her own patience to get what she wants; coincidentally, what she wants is what she deserves. She may be an experienced and savvy gal who can see a player coming a mile away. She is playing hard to get to see who has the “stamina” to work for the treasure.
She does not need you to “pay” for the treasure, she just wants you to work and “earn” the treasure. She will tease and give you the signals that encourage your continuing play and flirting. She wants you to progress, but either slowly or at the pace she wants. This gives her confidence that she is not just wasting her time with another player who will say anything to get in her pants.
Only the smallest percentage of male players out there (even the best) won’t “wait” for the pussy, and the savvy hot girl knows it. She is playing hard to get, not to avoid getting caught, but to catch the big one.
But for all the reasons of playing hard to get, don’t play too long, there are other pirates out there.
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