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My wife says she doesn’t love me anymore

My Divorce Story – By Alfred G:

My wife has walked out on me after 9 years together, six of them as a married couple. It was fine for 8 years, until last year when she started a new job and met lots of new people. She started going out and having fun and felt she was enjoying life more with them than me.

She has told me her feelings have changed and does not love me anymore. She moved out before Christmas. She has agreed I have done nothing wrong, but she feels that it is not right to stay together. Could she divorce me, when she wants or does she need grounds? I still love her and want her back.

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7 thoughts on “My wife says she doesn’t love me anymore”

  1. I sympathize with you. My wife did the same thing to me and left me with 2 young kids. New job in the city and fun, coming home to me and wondering what she was doing there.. well after our 9 years together I was gutted. I would say to you go and get some advice.

    I would say take it easy, I know its hard to stay calm but don’t jump the gun. Dont get too worked up about houses and stuff just yet… there’s loads of time to fret… good luck, hope we all feel better soon

  2. I sympathise with you as well, at the moment I am going through a similar thing, ours is a long story involving moving throughout the world a few times, returning to the UK for a fresh start and being dumped. My feelings at the moment border on complete breakdown and feelings of ending it all at times, because I still love her so much.

  3. Mate I know it seems really hard to understand but some things happen for a reason and weird though it seems now you’ll understand when the good shows itself. I hope you feel better. I suppose I’m lucky because I’ve got the kids and the routine to keep me going but try to take things as they come.

    This site is good for me just now too because it doesn’t half feel like a big lonely world and that you are the only one in it with these problems. Take it easy. Things will get better mine already are starting too. Good Luck

  4. The only way I’ve stayed sane through the trauma of infidelity and the prospect of separation has been to stay calm. Try to agree things between yourselves without lawyers for as long as possible. As soon as they become involved things tend to get messy and very expensive – the lawyer I saw initially was going to charge 350 bucks per hour.

    So far we’ve managed to agree on most things without involving out-side parties. Also if there are children involved then it’s better to take the long term view, though it’s all very well saying this-maintaining your cool can be almost impossible. However I think my soon to be ex has found it more challenging dealing with the calm betrayed husband than the hysterical one. In time you may even find that instead of struggling for calm you actually feel calm.

  5. Hi all yes shouting and screaming might make you feel good for a few hours but then despair and remorse soon set in. My wife suddenly announced after 12 years together she wanted to separate and be on her own. She has met someone though I don’t think they will be together it was just the catalyst.

    Unfortunately she wont just leave we are “living ” together until the house is sold and we can separate. My advice to anyone who finds their partner wants to separate is try and stay sane however hard it is. Dont let lawyers get involved and negotiate the best settlement you can. Let the other person do all the forcing and just keep your cards closely to your chest. If you can show the other person that you are not hysterical and falling apart, you never know they might question the decision – if that is what you want. If you can get your own four walls and some cash out of the equity then that is the time you can really start to heal

  6. I too have recently been through a marriage break up but I have to say that the easiest way I found to deal with it was to go out and have fun. It would seem to me that your wife wanted to have fun but perhaps you did not have enough in common. Have you started going out yet? I really feel for you and hope you soon find the light at the end of your tunnel.

  7. I can relate to everything here. My wife declared that she did not love me after 15 years of marriage. She instantly separated us into different rooms and states that we should continue to live together under the same roof for the sake of my teenage son (15) and because she couldn’t afford the deposit for a flat of her own. However seems to have plenty of money for “retail therapy”.

    The hardest part is the cold attitude and deliberate lack of care and affection. Like some of the previous advice, I think we need to just hang in there and not do anything until forced to. I’ve taken consolation from friends and family. Stay positive and upbeat (even if you don’t feel like it), it actually makes you feel good and unnerves the guilty party. Also, I suggest you keep your nose clean for a while as your partner might be waiting for you to do something to justify an action against you. Stay cool, we’re all in this together. All the best Stephen


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