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My wife cheated on me what should i do?

My Divorce Story – By Simon:

Simon here! I really need to know what you think I should do, I have had this rage in me for at least three weeks and that is bringing me down. I am leaving my wife. I found out 15 months ago that she was in a relationship with another man, when i challenged her she refused to say anything. I became extremely depressed and found every day hard. Suspicion and doubt at every turn. I decided to live each day at a time and aim to leave “one day”. That day came in February when i told her I had had enough of the lies and the deceit and I wanted to split. She said she wanted me to stay here and we agreed we should try to be friends for the kids. Since that time she has become colder and constantly goes out, stays out overnight. I know from a phone bill that she is still talking to and texting this man daily.. working out to a relationship over 21 months at least.

Okay so my dilemma is this – I have no doubt that the marriage is over and the sooner I get out the better. But I feel she is “playing” me and she is treating me still as if I am stupid. She is continuing the relationship which has led to our marriage ending and blaming ME saying she knows I want to be free, and still refusing to admit any affair or responsibility for the end of the marriage. She is a cold and manipulative woman who for years has got me to allow her to live whatever life she wants.”I am 45, i don’t need to tell ANYONE where I am going” as she swans off for the weekend. I am very angry with myself for allowing this, for staying in a situation that I knew was crap, but I am also angry with her, so angry I feel hateful to her. So I want advice on this – should I confront her with what I KNOW – and risk the fact that she might then make life very difficult for me living with her – or should I just take it on the chin and think oh well? The point isn’t about HIM as such – I am used to that now – it is her still treating me as a fool. This anger is burning me up… and I feel because of that I cannot think straight. Also would anyone ring HIM ?????

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3 thoughts on “My wife cheated on me what should i do?”

  1. This is a difficult one Simon, but I will tell you this which is what I said to earlier on today to a mate. “YOU” cannot live like this any longer. You are not living when you are in a situation like that you are existing and existing only for what could have been. You gave her nothing but trust and respect and what has he shown in return, neither of those things.

    We all have our hopes that things will change and the horrible bits will go away, but you cannot go on like this any longer. As I said to my mate, you are going to end up absent from your own life. You cannot go on like this, it has to stop. How dare she treat you like this. It is eating away at you and you have to do something about it. She has no right to continually treat you like a “fool”. You don’t want to be with someone who does that to you, you’re too good a person to be treated that way. Show her that you are not stupid (because that’s the last thing you are and you know it, don’t let her make you think otherwise). Stand up to her, confront her, tell her you are not an idiot and that you know fine well what is going on and “this” is what you are doing about it. Take control of the situation. Do not let her wear you down because that’s whats happening and she can’t get away with it. God!!, she has really pissed me off that she has made you feel like this and I don’t even bloody know her. You’re a stronger person than. As for HIM, a phone call is too good. What you need is a baseball bat!!!!!!!! Seriously, what would you say to HIM. “stay away from my wife”.

    Do you want her back after everything she has done. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying you shouldn’t because you know how I feel, even after everything she has done. Only you can answer that question. I don’t know if any of this is of help, it’s just the way I feel about the situation. Maybe the other guys have good advice.

  2. Hi Simon just read your story, i cant imagine what your going through, you’ve got to confront her. I cant believe she could treat you so bad. You’ve got to think of yourself what you are worth and what the rest of your life is worth and i know its more than what you’ve got now. I know these things are easier said than done but what she’s doing to you is to cruel to get away with. As for phoning ‘HIM’, when i found out about my partners fling i got HIS number from my sister (she was one of his friends) and i rang HIM loads but he wouldn’t answer, so that drove me crazy, the most i got was a text message saying that they had made a mistake, no apologies or anything. You’ve got think about what you’d feel like after you spoke to HIM in case it makes you feel worse. Be strong and change things and think of your future take care…

  3. Hi Simon our situations are similar, and my god, they really are. I am aching for you and for myself. Nobody deserves to be treated the way you are being treated right now. (I almost feel sorry for HIM cos he’s got the same coming, and he doesn’t know it) I would detach myself from her emotionally as much as I could. I wouldn’t ask her where she’s going or what she’s doing cos she seems to get some sick pleasure out of teasing you and upsetting you. She’s playing power games. Don’t give her the upper hand by showing an interest. Don’t ask her the questions and you won’t have to hear the lies. You KNOW what she’s up to. You don’t need to torture yourself by trying to get her to confess. Secondly I would consult a really good solicitor. What she is doing to you is mental cruelty. Thirdly, and best of all, I would try to start to rebuild a life of my own where she has no influence. I would surround myself only with people who make me feel good about myself. I’m very conscious that at the end of the day the only person I really have is myself, and if I can’t live with me, I’m heading for trouble. I wish I was there to have a pint with you. We’ll all have to look after each other as we struggle through this difficult time.


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