My Divorce Story – By Kenny:
I was married for twenty-four years and truly believed that it was for life. Little did I know that I would be proved so massively wrong. I am not going to go over every little detail as I have been down that torturous road many, many times. I have since moved forward positively with my life in a way I would never have thought possible just a few months ago.
I read many of the divorce stories on this website and, in hindsight, feel my story is not nearly as bad as some on here. With this in mind, I tell myself on a regular basis that I’ve got two great kids out of the marriage and that they’ve made the hurt, betrayal and financial cost worth it.
I worked hard, really hard, on building a great business from the ground up. I was never a womaniser nor a heavy drinker. I bought a great house in the countryside as my wife had always wanted to live a semi-rural lifestyle. Our kids went to the best private schools in the area and my wife had everything she could desire materially. Life was good, and our relationship was even better; or so I thought.
Around three years ago my business suffered a huge blow that was beyond my control and could never have been foreseen. As a result the business eventually had to close. Over time money became a little tight so our spending and lifestyle had to be reined in. As a family we were financially secure since the house was paid for and money had been put aside over the years for our children’s future.
Over the coming months I became a little depressed. I felt I had let down my wife, my children, and my staff; people who had been loyal and worked hard for me over the years. I admit it must also have been hard for my wife as she was used to seeing me as a provider; someone dependable and strong.
I knew I could bounce back in time, but now I needed my wife’s support. I needed a little understanding, an occasional hug and to hear her say, “Everything will be fine, we will get through this together”. I just wanted her to be my wife, for better or for worse.
Out of the blue my brother called me and told me he needed to speak to me about something really important. The call had me a little worried. I thought he was in some kind of trouble as he did not sound his usual self. I had always been very close to my brother, or so I thought. I was two years older than him and, over the years, had bailed him out of many scrapes. After all, I was his big brother.
Nothing could ever have prepared me for the blow that was about to come from somebody so close. Suddenly, the man I called my brother told me how much he loved my wife and how much she loved him. He told me that she wanted a divorce so the two of them could be together.
As you can probably imagine I hit the roof, and for the first few weeks after this bombshell revelation everything was up in the air. It turned out that they’d been having an affair for the previous six months. The excuse my wife gave me was that she felt neglected and she needed to feel loved. My so-called brother conveniently happened to be there when she needed a shoulder to cry on. I just could not comprehend the scale of scheming, betrayal and lies from two people I had loved so much.
Currently, the two of them are living together in my former matrimonial home. I gave her what she was legally entitled to without any fuss and arranged trusts for our children’s future with her legal advisers. I am now free from any future financial obligations.
It hurts so much when I think of what they did to me. Time does diminish the pain, but I know it will never fully leave me.
The trauma of my divorce, and the circumstances surrounding it, put me in a bad place for quite some time. I joined dating sites and threw myself at any woman who showed me the slightest bit of attention. I also, on occasion, drank too much and said things that I later regretted.
I was not coping well. Every evening I found myself sitting looking at a wall, overthinking everything and trying to piece together where things went wrong, going over in my mind every little detail, every word that was said. Again and again I analysed my actions and every aspect of my break up. Was I really a bad husband? Why did she do this to me? I was lost and desperately trying to make sense of this painful world I had never experienced before.
While searching the Internet for answers to questions such as, ‘How long does it take to heal a broken heart?’ I came across this website.
After reading through each chapter on the site I could tell that whoever wrote the words had obviously been through the same crushing emotional turmoil that I myself was now deeply embroiled in. The more I read, the more it resonated with me.
The truth was that I was an emotional wreck. I had no real friends, just work colleagues, and my social skills were nonexistent. I felt I was becoming a loner with fear and anxiety controlling my life.
I visited this website on a regular basis as I found solace and comfort in knowing others were going through the same crushing pain I was now experiencing.
I knew I could not spend night after night staring at the walls of my apartment. I needed time out, I needed to see if there was more to life, I needed to see if the old me was still around. I needed more than just existing and going through the daily monotonous motions of life. I needed to live a little while I still could.
After many debates with myself about whether I should get in touch or not, I eventually managed to put my fears and anxieties to one side and contacted Thornton to find out more.
From the first response, until this very day, Thornton and the guys were understanding, non-judgemental and patient. I eventually bit the bullet, booked, and made my way to Thailand. I was met at the airport and fully looked after from day one. I had some fantastic experiences and made some genuine, supportive, and down-to-earth friends who I am now in constant contact with.
I am returning to Thailand in the near future, under my own steam, to meet up once again with the REAL people who I have the pleasure of calling my friends. I am also in the process of slowly growing a new business which excites me and keeps me busy. Life for me now tastes a whole lot sweeter.
Please Submit Your Own Story…
Please consider sharing your story with others suffering now. How you coped? How you felt? What helped? What were the circumstances that led up to your separation? How do you cope with loneliness? The more you can share the better.
Your story really does help others who are going through the same gut wrenching pain. Your story reinforces the fact that they are not alone in their suffering.