Splitting up is frightening. But if you keep a grip on reality and don’t let your fears run away with you you’ll get through it.
Are your fears real?
Splitting up from someone you have loved is frightening. You may be frightened of being on your own, of being lonely, or never having sex again. Fear is often caused by change. By not knowing what the future holds. The more insecure you feel by the change in your life the more fear will rush in to take you over. The fantasy of your fear may tell you that you can’t survive the change. The reality is you can. Fear of the future is projected fantasy. Face your fear and keep in touch with friends or family. They need to remind you that your mind is playing tricks and that most of your fears are unfounded.
Your Questions Answered
How can I confront this fear – I just want to run away?
The way to confront fear is to sit with it. Running away is doing anything you can to avoid feeling the fear. Drinking, dating, arguing, sleeping excessively all these are ways of running from fear. The way to confront it and beat it is to feel it. Sit with your fear. Let it wash over you. That way you will see you can survive it. And you can.
Why do I feel so frightened?
Because you don’t know what the future holds and your imagination is running wild and creating the worst case scenarios.
Am I ever going to have sex again?
The feelings of rejection or of being unloved can turn to despair. They eat away at you, making you feel unlovable. The normal range of fears can vary from never having sex again, to never staying in a double hotel room again. Your mind plays tricks. It projects forward. Fears rush in. Most of them are fantasy. Not based on reality. But it’s because your reality has taken such a knock that your grasp on it becomes shaky. Ground yourself. Keeping in touch with someone who’s known you a long time can help you keep a handle on your real life and real potential.
Am I going to die a sad, mad old wreck?
Never underestimate the power of fear. When you’re used to living in a family, being alone can bring on severe panic. Left alone to dwell on your situation, fear can magnify the problem and turn it into a horror story. Get an anchor for your fears. Always keep a healthy dialogue going with others who have experienced the same fear and loss.
Need to Knows
- splitting up is frightening
- don’t underestimate the power of fear
- most of your fears are unfounded, your mind is playing tricks
- keep a ‘reality-check’ with friends & family.
Please Submit Your Own Story…
Please consider sharing your story with others suffering now. How you coped? How you felt? What helped? What were the circumstances that led up to your separation? How do you cope with loneliness? The more you can share the better.
Your story really does help others who are going through the same gut wrenching pain. Your story reinforces the fact that they are not alone in their suffering.