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Is life better after divorce?

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Grayed out by the pressures and environmental stressors of life, the Phoenix gets to its yield point and burns to ashes. But what makes this creature amazing and unique is that it spawns back to life as brand new!! Full of vitality and optimism! So you might feel bad that you gave the best of your years to your wife and children, only to watch it all go up in flames. And not to forget how painful it feels when they’re unappreciative of your efforts over the years.

While it will be inhuman not to feel sad and be in a state of confusion, it’s important you rise above this setback and find happiness in life again. Anger, resentment, anxiety and confusion are feelings that are next to inevitable during the process of divorce or after a divorce. While the society expects men to bottle up their emotions and be stoic, you have to give into your grief.

Grieving is a process, you’ve lost a lot and you’ll be leaving a lot behind, so it’s OK to feel sad as it’s part of the healing process. According to statistics, it must have been your wife that initiated the divorce. And chances are that you were caught off guard while she would have spent considerable time contemplating the future before making her decision. This leaves you in shock and makes a mess of the future you had planned. Even when you were the one who asked for the divorce, you wouldn’t have had everything figured out. Yet with hope, effort and the right frame of mind, you can rise above uncertainty and tailor a future plan that will be fulfilling. So you might have had your fair share of anger, solitude, drugs, alcohol, unhealthy diet, desperation for affection and sleeping with the next available troll on a dating site, yet we don’t believe all these things define you. We know you are way better than this and that you’ll eventually realize that people around you still need you because you’re a son, a brother, a father, a lover and a mentor.

Thus it’s important you live a healthy and happy life by letting go of life damaging post-divorce habits. So is life better after divorce? Yes, if you want it to be! While the divorce must have cost you financially and emotionally, it also gives you an open cheque of time and freedom to create a new experience for yourself. And if used well, is the key to finding happiness again. As humans we all have interests and emotional needs, that when fulfilled makes us very happy. So focus on these things. Those healthy and fun activities you used to love but neglected due to the sacrifice and responsibilities that come with marriage, and those career goals you’ve always wanted to achieve. Allow yourself to feel, connect with people, go on vacations, experiment with cuisines, see the world, and when you’re fully healed, you can take a chance at love again. Do all these things, and without a doubt you’ll find out that life can really be awesome after divorce.

Life is as beautiful as you make it to be at any point (before divorce, after divorce, before a relative’s death and also after a relative’s death) in time and this starts with the right mindset.

You need to move beyond I failed in my marriage, to my marriage failed and finally to I have more beautiful years ahead of me to live. Start living a pseudo-pessimistic and optimistic life; counting your blessings because things could have been worse. Your experiences on earth are manifestations of your thoughts and emotions. You can’t invest negative emotions and expect things to turn out well. So begin to feel good about yourself, develop amidst the darkness, focus on the positives, filter the negatives and watch your life’s motion pictures come out clear and beautiful.

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