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I was suicidal after separation

My Story – By Anders:

When my wife left me after three years, my world fell apart. I became very depressed. I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning, let alone motivate myself to work. The depression dragged all my confidence down with it. I was living off Vodka. I couldn’t eat anything. When I eventually dragged myself to the doctor, he prescribed Prozac. But even when the Prozac kicked in, I still needed Vodka to help me sleep.

Lying in bed at night with a bottle of Vodka and a packet of pills, I didn’t want to wake up in the morning. The alcohol blocked out the pain for a while but it always resurfaced. I couldn’t believe I would ever feel better, but eventually somehow, with the help of family and friends, I slowly started to become ‘normal’ again. Now, over five years later, I’ve got a new life. I’ve moved town, gone to college, and have a new girlfriend. I look back at that time and don’t know how I survived all that abuse to my body.”

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2 thoughts on “I was suicidal after separation”

  1. Anders your living proof of time being a great healer, hats of to you for turning it all around mate. I personally think that I almost feel ready for a new relationship…but one thing worries me.. (well, lots of things really, but this is the most worrying at the moment). Since my marriage broke down I don’t seem to have any emotions. I feel almost perpetually numb. Normally I am a warm, affectionate person with bags of empathy…but I don’t feel I have any love left to give to a woman, and that saddens and worries me.

    I have felt like this for so long now and I’m afraid that I’ll never be able to love again. The dating thing is scary, and I don’t’ mind living alone, but I would really like to have a ‘best friend’ to go out and about with. If something developed from that, then fine. I’m not the kind who goes in for casual stuff either, so I may not even get to first base!

  2. Good on you Anders… I strongly feel part of life is being vulnerable enough to form new friendships and relationships. The hardest thing ironically- is to be vulnerable. We all develop self protection measurements to keep us from being hurt mentally, physically. But to truly grow like Anders has we have to accept the past and move beyond the hurt. I feel this is true logically and emotionally.

    The problem is that I still am kept in the dark about details of my X’s thoughts and actions. I try to forget about it and settle in my mind that it doesn’t matter much because it’s over- but it comes up in my dreams. This to me is whats totally unfair about divorce, breakups or separations is the lies and deceit- am I such a bad judge of the truth? Stream of thought- after reading all of the above. To me I strive to make sense of things and unfortunately one has to admit some things will never make any sense………


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