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I have no friends and no life

My Loneliness Story – By Andrew Boyd:

The journey of being happy to being depressed is always gradual and progressive and makes you wonder why couldn’t I have done something about it? But truly life is difficult and gets us all at some point. At times people look at you and wonder why your life is so miserable without realizing that they’re just the lucky ones. Some of us really have it bad and our current depressed state is as a result of several unfortunate turn of events. The vicissitude of life they call it.

It’s really fair to say life has been unkind to me. I used to have a huge family, now the little family I have left pretty much do their own thing and I have no contact with them. At times I just wonder what the problem is. It’s almost as if the word “family” holds no significance or is it civilization that made us self reliant individuals that don’t care about anybody? And as if been neglected by my family is not enough, the few friends I used to have moved away and stopped keeping in touch.

Since it was obvious that everyone was moving on with their life, I decided to move on with mine. I made my work my life and concentrated so much on it. Got commendations, got promotions too as well. But all these were not enough because like they say at the end you can’t snuggle up to your career. So my routine was keeping a cool head at work and coming home to break down and over think things.

Like a glimmer of hope, Maggie my childhood friend got a job as an intern at my firm. Maggie is an 8 and she’s not the type to be interested in a kind of guy like me. So I planned from the start to just enjoy the friendship. We went for lunch together, hanged out and there were times I drove her home or for shopping. Our friendship got so intense that I was so sure she was interested in me. So one time we were alone together and I tried to kiss her. She was shocked and looked at me like I had committed a huge crime. I tried to find words to tell her I really liked her, but in the end she turned my offer down. She told me she was sorry for leading me on with all the looks she gave me and how she acted around me. She said even though she likes me and feels like I’m a good guy, she couldn’t date me because she was invested in a 5 year relationship and although she was experiencing several issues in the relationship, she planned on sticking to him.

I was heartbroken when it became clear that she used me to keep herself happy when things were rough with her boyfriend. Several times she came to the office with teary eyes, having cried herself to sleep the previous night because of a fight with her boyfriend. This further puts me in a bad state because it makes me wonder if I’m so bad that she would choose an abusive guy over me.

Eventually her internship ended, she moved on and stopped keeping in touch. My life went back to the previous boring and miserable state, but what this more disheartening was that I knew happiness for a short while and it blew up in my face. So when you can’t win, you just give up. Now, I am often depressed but have never considered hurting myself. God gave me life and it’s his decision to end it. I guess I will have to live as well as I can but I hate my life.

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8 thoughts on “I have no friends and no life

  1. I was lonely when I searched google, but for some reason reading through all the posts has made me feel heaps better.

    All I really want to do is just hop in my car (or on a plane), and see where I end up. I feel so trapped in my life…I just want to start again.

  2. I too googled “I have no friends and no life”. Wow, what a miserable existence we all lead. I am in love with my best friend (who is also my ex-gf), but she is dating a guy she is madly in love with…and she talks half-jokingly about marriage.

  3. The loneliness so gradually crushes the spirit, and it’s not a sharp acute pain, but something dull and heavy. I can understand how people tolerate years and even decades without ever having anybody

    In three years nothing has changed for me, no friends, no family, no girlfriend. Loneliness is a lifelong affair for some people

  4. This blog seriously made me feel better! We’re all alone in the world, we’re all a little weird and we’re all imperfect, but that doesn’t mean we won’t find someone! Loneliness is kind of something we do to ourselves. I think everyone’s hurting to some degree, but the real test is we handle the obstacles and make the most of what’s out there!

  5. Hi Andrew you shouldn’t be so sad and we shouldn’t let it get us down when people don’t understand us. All those people who seem happy on the outside and who seem to fit in are probably feeling down on the inside. They revolve their lives around acting a certain way so people like them. There’s nothing wrong with that.

    But there’s also nothing wrong with knowing who you are and being yourself. Even if its hard sometimes. Inner happiness and peace with myself is far more important to me than being able to put on a “happy” front.

  6. I believe that you need to work on forming a bond with those you meet with every day. Why not start up with your neighbors, give the postman a wave when you pass him every morning, say hi to the coffee lady/guy or even those at your work place, and if you are the boss, then maybe you should make it a point of duty to ask after the well-being of your employees. Yes you might still feel lonely now and then, but then depression will definitely not set in any more. It’s also important you work on your people skills and make more friends. It might be very difficult at first but as time goes on you will get better. Also, try to exploit opportunities around you that you know will bring you into constant contact with people.

  7. One rule of having a good relationship with friends or even family members is communication. However close you might be with a person, as long as there is a gap in communication the two of you will drift apart. Any relationship will survive as long as there is communication. Little wonder why relationship advisers always hammer on communication. So why not pick up the phone and give some of your old friends or family members a call. And if you feel they were the ones who neglected you or stopped caring, be the bigger man and make an effort at reviving such relationships.

  8. From your story, it’s easy to insinuate that you let things get to you easily. And this is the fastest route of getting depressed. So what if your friends are no longer in contact with you, it certainly shouldn’t stop you from making new ones. So that hot girl led you on and ended up rejecting your advances, that shouldn’t stop you from having a go at love again. See yourself as the prize! She just lost out on a great guy. Not everything that happens to you deserves a reaction. If at all you need to react, let it be a positive one.

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