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I cried myself to sleep night after night during my separation.

Submitted By Larry:

It’s hard to put into words how my life changed after our marriage dissolved. It wasn’t my life any more, or the life I had known. It was almost surreal that I jumped instantly into this chaotic, frightening, single-dad life that I had no idea how to navigate. I also lost my mother after a long illness within a month of filing for divorce, so the two people in my life that I had always had as support, were now both gone. I don’t recall anything that felt real, except pain. I cried myself to sleep night after night until I realized what a waste it was, there was no one to care, to brush the tears away, so I stopped.

My sole intent was to shield my children from as much pain as I could. I remember one night finding my eight-year-old crying in her bed in the dark. “I just want things to go back to normal” she sobbed. I held her and explained that we were going to have to make a new “normal”, and that in time, all would be well. It took a lot of time.

I was stunned at how much I still ‘felt’ married. But alas, I was instantly a divorced man in a sea of married friends. The people we partied with every New Years Eve for years, left me out of the loop. I didn’t fit in the ‘couples club’ anymore, and I was achingly aware of it. I ended up knowing who my true friends were, and holding fast to them through some very stormy times.

Try to stay strong, life goes on and it does get easier…

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1 thought on “I cried myself to sleep night after night during my separation.”

  1. My partner of 20 years went to stay with her best friend abroad who retired a few years ago whilst on vacation she met a guy after 4 days, she is totally in love and infatuated with him he is 60 she is 65 she had already left me a month ago and plans to go and live 2000 miles away with him in the new year. It is totally surreal I have had to involve legal people and raise money from my pension to give to her so I can keep my house in the UK. The shock loneliness and total despair is killing me. I don’t know where to turn she is not coming back.


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