My Loneliness Story – By Martin Baxter:
Hi, I am so lonely!
I moved to a new town after I lost my job a few months ago. I was able to get this new job through a friend who works with an insurance firm in the same town. I had to leave my family members and the few friends that I had made just to be close to work. It was hard enough for me to make those friends in the first place, even though most of them were my colleagues at work and I wouldn’t really consider them close. Though I had some wonderful moments with them, like nights out and all that, but even in those moments I always felt this pang of loneliness deep within me.
I am a naturally a reserved person, and I keep to myself most times. The few friends and family members that I had around never made me realise how lonely and boring my life was until I left them. I also think that the fact that I used to stay in with a roommate in a rented apartment made it easier for me to go on without feeling this void that I’m currently feeling within me. Truth be told, I have had some couple of girlfriends in time past, but they have always ended up leaving me. I forced myself to go on dates and movies even though I never really liked the crowd. But in the end they kept complaining about how boring my life was.
I must confess that I haven’t found it easy since I moved here. I always feel lost each morning when I head to work. It’s been three months now and I still haven’t made a single friend. Things got worse recently when my friend had to move out of town for a while. This made me realise how lonely my life really is.
At the moment, I am sitting on my bed, feeling very hungry, the closest place to get something decent to eat is about a mile away and I don’t even have the strength to walk there. I don’t know anyone in this town who I can visit. I have no one to eat and talk with. Most of my colleagues at work are at a dinner at the moment having the time of their life, but I just can’t bring myself to go. I know how difficult it is for me to start a conversation with people that I am not close with and I am tired of constantly embarrassing myself. The best I do is to exchange greetings after which I get stuck and I don’t just know what else to say.
Few months back, my friend told me to get a dog, seeing how lonely I was, but after a while, I had to give the dog away because I couldn’t take proper care of her. Most times, I just drift off in my own thoughts and never remember that I should feed her. I have been having a difficult time at my place of work. My boss has been complaining about how inefficient I have been recently, but in truth I want to give my best. I want to be that guy that gets praised for his diligence and hard work at the end of each month, but I think my loneliness is getting to me.
I would like to make some friends really; I want to have someone I can always discuss my plans and pains with. Let’s just say that I am tired of being lonely and I need help.
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Please consider sharing your story with others suffering now. How you coped? How you felt? What helped? What were the circumstances that led up to your separation? How do you cope with loneliness? The more you can share the better.
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