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“Every man can transform his world from one of LONELINESS, HEARTACHE or AGEING to one of excitement and adventure.”

I Am Lonely!

My Loneliness Story – By Martin Baxter:

Hi, I am so lonely!

I moved to a new town after I lost my job a few months ago. I was able to get this new job through a friend who works with an insurance firm in the same town. I had to leave my family members and the few friends that I had made just to be close to work. It was hard enough for me to make those friends in the first place, even though most of them were my colleagues at work and I wouldn’t really consider them close. Though I had some wonderful moments with them, like nights out and all that, but even in those moments I always felt this pang of loneliness deep within me.

I am a naturally a reserved person, and I keep to myself most times. The few friends and family members that I had around never made me realise how lonely and boring my life was until I left them. I also think that the fact that I used to stay in with a roommate in a rented apartment made it easier for me to go on without feeling this void that I’m currently feeling within me. Truth be told, I have had some couple of girlfriends in time past, but they have always ended up leaving me. I forced myself to go on dates and movies even though I never really liked the crowd. But in the end they kept complaining about how boring my life was.

I must confess that I haven’t found it easy since I moved here. I always feel lost each morning when I head to work. It’s been three months now and I still haven’t made a single friend. Things got worse recently when my friend had to move out of town for a while. This made me realise how lonely my life really is.

At the moment, I am sitting on my bed, feeling very hungry, the closest place to get something decent to eat is about a mile away and I don’t even have the strength to walk there. I don’t know anyone in this town who I can visit. I have no one to eat and talk with. Most of my colleagues at work are at a dinner at the moment having the time of their life, but I just can’t bring myself to go. I know how difficult it is for me to start a conversation with people that I am not close with and I am tired of constantly embarrassing myself. The best I do is to exchange greetings after which I get stuck and I don’t just know what else to say.

Few months back, my friend told me to get a dog, seeing how lonely I was, but after a while, I had to give the dog away because I couldn’t take proper care of her. Most times, I just drift off in my own thoughts and never remember that I should feed her. I have been having a difficult time at my place of work. My boss has been complaining about how inefficient I have been recently, but in truth I want to give my best. I want to be that guy that gets praised for his diligence and hard work at the end of each month, but I think my loneliness is getting to me.

I would like to make some friends really; I want to have someone I can always discuss my plans and pains with. Let’s just say that I am tired of being lonely and I need help.

Please consider helping by leaving a comment at the bottom of this page…


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18 thoughts on “I Am Lonely!

  1. I feel so much better that I am not the only one that typed in “I am lonely” on google. How pathetic that I have nothing better to do. It is amazing that I can be so extremely successful at work and so lonely at home. I got married at 17, had four children, completed a masters degree, became the youngest professor at my work, opened my own practice, yet have found myself in a lot of debt. I am not sure what to do but I need to do something. I am not getting any younger.

  2. The best cure for loneliness is to become involved with helping others. Volunteer places, if you’re not outgoing in group situations, do things one on one with people. We’re basically only here for one reason and that is to help each other.

  3. Friends;
    Once again I prove to myself I am not the only lonely soul on Earth. But always remember you are not the loneliest. There is some one out there in worst shape than you, and they might be handling it.

    I am so lonely right now, that my only inspiration is to help others. I saw an old lady last Saturday, who was obese, and had to use a cane to walk. It was 90 degrees. She look miserable. I asked her if I could help her. She said she was going to the Latino store (she spoke Spanish), to buy batteries for her radio. I realized she came from very poor and humble background. I ask her if she could wait five minutes in the shade, while I went to buy her the batteries at the nearest gas station (did not want to scare her by asking her if she needed a lift). She said ok. When I came back, she was so pleased and happy that I forgot I was lonely.

    I know I am not right, but doctors want to give me drugs to fight whatever is killing me. I don’t like drugs. Maybe tomorrow I can help some one else, and for a moment, not feel so low. Hang in there my friend. It cannot get any worst, only better. Leave the house, even though you don’t want to.

  4. My wife told me she isn’t in love with me anymore and that I spend to much time “playing”. I have two jobs and all I want to do is go home and play with my 3 young children, I don’t get to see them everyday now and that is why I am now so lonely. It’s been about six weeks now and I am still awaking at three in the morning crying. It’s really hard and I know I will get through it but right now I am lonely, and that’s ok because it’s my feeling and I think a lot of you also feel the same way and we are all going to feel better one day at a time, thanks for allowing me to validate my feeling here.

  5. You are not the only one: what a nice thing to do. It does help to help others… i definitely have found that to bring great satisfaction. I’d suggest getting more involved by volunteering… hospitals, libraries, shelters, kids clubs, are always looking for good people to help others in need.

    You’ll find it rewarding, it sounds like you really enjoy working with people…. that is a skill hard to master… don’t let it go untouched. Of course before you can truly let go of being lonely, you have to gain a better self acceptance and realize, you have many great qualities, and by helping that lady that shows you cared enough to say hey…. most people won’t do that. so be proud of yourself, and remember its your actions and self accomplishments that should make you feel complete, not who you “hang” with.

  6. I can’t believe there are actually people who also typed “I am lonely” on Google. Quite interesting to see that many of us are in the same state emotionally.

    I am an introvert and I find it extremely difficult to approach people and start conversations, which is probably why I am typing on a message board and googling “I am lonely” instead of doing something constructive with my life. I am a student in college, and I feel somewhat helpless in that I don’t know what to do in life, and my only true friends went to separate out of state colleges. My ineptitude with women is of epic proportions. Lately, I seem to have as much luck of finding a woman as Jessica Simpson does of correctly answering a Jeopardy question. That’s not good.

    Maybe some volunteer work is the right way to go. At least then I’ll be doing something to help others, instead of feeling sorry for myself. I’ve actually contemplated either coaching a little league team or starting up a league for youths. Being a baseball player was my absolute dream as a youngster, and I went as high as little league, but like most of my life, I chickened out because of my fear of failure, and here I am. Helping kids reach the goals that I never could would be satisfying for me, as I feel I am actually in my element with baseball (seriously, I live and I’ll die for this game!).

    Oh well, I don’t expect this to help me, but it’s good to get all of this out. Thanks for reading…if you actually lasted long enough to do so.

  7. I feel ya, I am very lonely. I used to have a big family and now down to a few aunts and uncles only 2 of which live in my area and they have their own life. The friends I have had moved on got married and Ive lost touch. The only people I do anything with are a couple of people I work with and that is rare. But the way I look at it I must have done something to deserve this so I don’t really feel I have the right to complain. I have to play the cards I was dealt as the old cliche goes. Love life wise, I have a hot women I work with that really likes me but as my luck goes, shes involved and feels loyal even though she isn’t happy. So what I really do is thank God I have a good job, I have a house my 2 cats and just try to keep myself busy which pretty much is sitting home every weekend but like I said I must deserve it or it wouldn’t be so.

  8. I typed “I am lonely” in google, up this came. Seems many others did the same. Surely everyone should be entitled to a group of friends who love them, and maybe a partner too? Someone to snuggle up to at the end of the day? I have few friends, and have never had a girlfriend. I help out at homeless shelters, befriend elderly people and have a very keen interest in human rights. What am I doing wrong? Should I be spending all my money on nice clothes and going out to meet people rather than giving it to charity? Why don’t girls like me?

  9. Also, I am studying maths and physics at the University of London, have a part-time job to support myself, go down the gym, can run three miles in under eighteen minutes… What more am I supposed to do? I try so hard but get no where. I aim to teach maths at secondary school level in a poor country. I know blokes who are complete idiots but are funny and/or good-looking who have no problem finding a girl. I look average so am condemned to… ah stuff it.

  10. I was reading one of the posts at this site a few hours ago. It said a good thing to do was just go out walking. So I did and walked until I ended up on the main strip in the city, all bright lights and hundreds of people having fun. Nothing worse. But then I happened to bump into a friend of a friend of mine and his friend. We stood around talking about nothing for a while. I suddenly felt a lot less lonely. So, yeah, point is getting out of the house worked for me.

  11. It creates a whole new set of life-based questions, when each of us, accordingly and supposedly, has a worth, and yet for one reason or another, so many of us are alone.

    If each of us has a value, then how can it be that so many of us are wasted, unused, discarded, or unwanted by being alone and lonely.

    life is harsh.

  12. *sigh* I am lonely too. What a big f’d up world this is. Often I wish I were a kid again where friendships could be started over a new toy or video game, or even on a jungle gym. Now the world feels fake, like everyone’s wearing a mask. Its as if no one is real anymore.

  13. That empty feeling inside is haunting, like you have died inside and you are nothing but a shell of your former self going through the motions. I know it well. not too long ago I went to a concert with a couple old friends…should have been all kinds of fun, but almost as soon as it started that feeling crept all over me, in the midst of hundreds of people I felt alone. I wish I had the answer. All I have to offer is my little trick for getting by…come up with a thought, or saying, or anything that makes you smile, or inspires you. When you feel down or “haunted” as I like to call it, just keep saying it to yourself. You can use mine…I just repeat to myself “up” as in “think up thoughts”, make your mind higher, not lower, never lower, always up. My friend got me onto this…his is “At least I’m not Michael Jackson” which always makes me smile as well.

  14. I too am very lonely. I feel you, Isi. I often wish I was a kid again as well, as I can honestly say my life was 100 times better as a child growing up than it has been since age 13 to now (21). It’s like a cold slap in the face when innocence is taken away from life and replaced with ignorance, racism, and fake smiles.

    My family is great. My parents have worked so hard to ensure I have everything I want in life, and my brother is my best friend. But I can’t honestly say that I have another friend in this entire world that I can count on. If I died today, my mom, dad, and brother would be the only ones attending the funeral or even giving a damn. That’s a painful feeling.

    I too have that empty feeling. I’m 21 years old with no friends and never been in a relationship with a woman. Writing on message boards is my escape, but at age 21, I don’t know how much longer I can get away with it. I don’t want to be in my 30’s and 40’s with this same feeling. I know rejection like the back of my hand, and I’m tired of it.

    Will this feeling go away? I hope so. If any good came out of this, it’s that I appreciate my family more than anything in this world. Appreciate what you have at home. Trust me.

  15. I Googled here too. Seems to me everyone feels lonely sometime in their life. Be it that homesick kind of longing lonely. Or the oppressive, soul crushing isolation of depression. In the modern world, where technology connects us to people we will never meet, who may not even exist, it’s easy to feel alone. If people connected with others more in the real world, and took an interest and cared about the lives of those around them, maybe we wouldn’t all feel so desperately alone…

  16. Just like you have started in your story, I think it is quite obvious that you need to relate with those around you more. Even if your work hours take so much of your time such that it makes it difficult to relate with those around you, then you really need to form a sort of bond with your co-workers. I once had a job where most of my hours of the day were spent at work, it made it very difficult for me to relate with those outside my working environment. It seemed very difficult in my first set of days there. But I knew I had to make friends so I started up by discussing general issues with those in the same office as myself later on they introduced me to their friends and their friends introduced me to others. I ended up having more friends there than I could keep in contact with. A simple greeting with a smile followed by a compliment will go a long way in getting you on your way to making new friends.

  17. Your story tells of how caught up you have made yourself in your own cocoon of life. And the truth is that only you can break yourself out of it. It’s no surprise that life continues to reinstate the fact that no man is an island. Even the first man that was created in the Bible was given a companion. You need to get yourself involved with more social activities and make yourself more available to those around you. You should look to join some groups that are around you; a reading group, a volunteering group or even a church or fellowship group. This will give you the much needed sense of belonging and it’ll go a long way in helping you to relate more with those around you

  18. Judging by your story, it’s quite obvious you have a lot to work on. From working on your people skills, to getting a better job and living a better life, you need to sit down and plan on how to restructure your life. If you don’t do that today, at least let it be tomorrow. Being alone is not only the cause of loneliness. Financial problems and unfulfilling life plays a huge part as well. And like I always tell people who complain that they suffer from loneliness, the simple solution is getting more involved with activities.

    You need to express yourself more and volunteer yourself for various activities around you. Everyone is surely good at something, why not make it known to those around you. You will feel more fulfilled knowing that you are that go to person when others need help and you will also feel happy helping those around you. Most great friendships that I know of start up with a stranger being of help to another stranger.

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