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I Am Lonely All The Time

Submitted By Jones:

Hello, I’m Jones. There is this particular thing that has been bothering me for a long time. I’m 38 and I moved to a new city a little over a year ago. Everything is lovely here except that I don’t really have a lot of people to talk to. When I say talk I mean like really let them know what’s up with me especially when I’m going through a lot and I’m really going through a lot right now.

I met a lot of people when I first moved to this city and we mostly hang around bars; drink, go home and meet at work the next day. We mostly do everything together so basically, they are my ‘friends’. As an emotional person, I love being open with the people I call my friends. That’s how I’ve been for as long as I can remember.

A few months ago I found out my girlfriend was cheating and it drove me crazy. I told my guys about it; that the break up was really weighing me down and I was depressed about losing her. They just laughed at me and said I was a pussy and that talking about feelings is what pussies do. So I just nodded, said I was only kidding and had a few drinks so they will stay friends with me because I didn’t know anyone else as I had just moved to the city.

I got home and I cried through the night. I picked up my phone and I tried to call my friends but I couldn’t. I felt so alone and depressed. I didn’t have an outlet of talking to people I can trust so I ended up staying indoors and relying on drugs. It has affected my work and life. I am really lost, alone and I don’t know how to get out of this.

I considered going to a shrink for help but I just feel like he/she will only listen because I’m going to pay him/her to. I could really use a friend to talk to as I’m always lonely and bottled up with sadness. Is it a guy thing not to share feelings or what they are going through? Please, what can I do? Do you guys also feel like this?

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3 thoughts on “I Am Lonely All The Time”

  1. Hello Jones. I’m really sorry you had to witness something like that. I really think for one you need to change your friends. Friendship without being able to share what’s wrong with you isn’t really right. I believe it takes a lot of courage to share what’s going on with you with another person. I am sure most of those guys have deep issues affecting them. So don’t ever feel bad that you shared your feelings. I really think you should get professional help. Think of it this way, if you were sick you would pay to get yourself treated, wouldn’t you? The drugs won’t help they will only make things worse. You should really change your friends.

  2. We live in a world where men are taught to suppress how they feel or not share because it’s a sign of weakness. And this toxic masculinity is what is killing us. There’s nothing absolutely wrong with opening up. I remember I went through the same thing a while ago till I met better people or should I say, friends. Staying indoors won’t let you meet the right people. Step out because not everyone is as backward thinking like those guys. Dump those friends of yours and get help. Good luck

  3. I once read an article about addiction. A group of rats and a single rat were placed in separate cages both cages had two water jars, one filled with cocaine and the other was just water. The lone rat kept drinking the water jar that was filled with cocaine and couldn’t help itself while the group of rats didn’t even go near the water jar filled with cocaine. Human beings are meant to interact, it’s perfectly normal that you want to share what you are going through. Don’t ever feel otherwise. You’ll definitely meet better friends but you need to get through the drugs first and you’ll need professional help for that. Once you are clean, you can meet better people. Not everyone is the same in the world. Hope it works out for you Jones. Good luck


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