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I Am A Lonely Man

Submitted By David:

I’m a grown man with a family of my own and everything seems fine from the perception of everyone I know; neighbours and other extended families but deep down, I’m locked down in the abyss of loneliness. I love my kids but I cannot let them know that their dad is not the same anymore. Nothing hurts more than keeping a poker face right in your home.

I am a man with principles and this led to me making vows that I have sworn to keep till death. So you can imagine the sadness I felt when I realized that my wife was unfaithful. Funny thing is that I’m not the jealous type to snoop around and stalk my partner.

Recently I cancelled a trip half way through that was supposed to take two weeks. I got home just in time to see a man dropping off my wife. Yet, I wasn’t too alarmed till they shared a goodbye passionate kiss. I did confront my wife and we had everything sorted after much pleading. But to be truthful, since then nothing has ever been the same. My feelings for her have totally died, and I’m considering divorce but I do not want my kids to experience a broken home.

Nevertheless, I am engulfed by misery and loneliness and my days are just filled with darkness. It’s only the thought of my kids that keeps me going but I just can’t continue with this marriage. What do you think is the best way to go guys?

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3 thoughts on “I Am A Lonely Man”

  1. David, firstly I would urge you to have a go at counseling if you think in any way the relationship can be salvaged but if you don’t then don’t give her any false hope, it only prolongs things.

    Happiness is the basic foundation of any successful marriage. If you don’t feel the same anymore then I think you really should consider getting a divorce only after you have exhausted every avenue to save the marriage. I may seem too harsh there, what about the kids right? I believe you can only pretend to be happy in the marriage for so long before the cracks start showing up and trust me, your kids will definitely notice after a while.

    I’m not just saying this out of the blue, why? It is because I was raised by a single mother. Her marriage crashed not because of infidelity but there was this disconnection between her partner and her, the love wasn’t just the same. I guess this happens in most marriages. Some people get lucky and re-ignite the spark while some people don’t have it so good. If you feel you have no feelings towards her anymore, I think it’ll be better to just file for a divorce.

  2. I think divorce should be the last thing you should consider. Your partner cheated but yet she begged for forgiveness, right? And you said you had everything sorted out. Things not being the same again is not surprising but if you truly care and love her, do try to make the marriage work. Don’t fall for the fairytales of; ‘a lot of people cheated in their marriages, got caught, yet it did not impair the marriage’. It takes hard work, discipline and a forgiving heart to make a marriage last. Have you ever thought maybe you didn’t show her enough love?

    Or your sexual encounters with your partner have been boring? She may not be bold enough to tell you this but I believe you should take another shot at love. Keep the family stable especially for the kids. Then after a while, you can assess how things are going, see if your loneliness has withered away before going for the dreaded plan D

  3. Such a touching story. I’m a divorced man and I’ll tell you that I’ll do anything to have my family back. Before I got divorced, I had been so engrossed with work and trying to make a better life for my family. Despite my good intentions, I still got dealt a bad hand by the cruel hands of fate. I did not intentionally neglect my wife, I was just so busy. This led her to seek solace outside our marriage. I blame her though but yet I could still try to understand from her side. Before I could mend things, I got served with divorce papers. What I’m trying to say is that your wife could even be cooking up a clandestine divorce process while you are wallowing in your loneliness and sadness. Your feelings may be dead right now but if you truly want your marriage to work then pull your wife and sort things out. Let her know you don’t feel the same anymore. Even though this will lead to a significant reaction, it’s one of two things. She may either propose parting ways or find a way to appease you to stay. However, the final decision rests with you. Do you want out or you want to keep your marriage?


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