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How To Start Over After Divorce

Submitted By Dennis Marshall :

Focus on the parts of your life that need rebuilding and take it a day at time.

Constant foundations

When you split up it may feel as if your life has collapsed around your feet. But not all of it will have. Certain foundations, certain friends, family members, or associates, will remain regardless of what happens. You can use them to lean on as you piece together your plans.

Live in ‘the now’

Decide which areas of your life do need rebuilding, such as your home environment and your social life. Focus on them . Don’t try to do everything at once. Take each day at a time. Don’t look too far ahead. Try to do the groundwork for future plans which you can execute when you have the strength and the space in your life.

How long will it take me to rebuild my life?

It’s impossible to say. Mainly because you aren’t about to put it all back together the way it was. Accept this is change. This can be positive change if you allow it to be. That doesn’t mean you don’t mourn for what has passed. But what lies ahead is new. Not just a restoration of the old. Life has phases. Looking back we can identify the phases and chapters easily. When you’re stuck in the middle of one you often can see no end. Have faith, this too will pass. Do the right stuff. Keep healthy, process your feelings and deal with the important stuff a day at a time as it comes up and you will move on.

How will I ever be able to rebuild my life?

One day at a time. Focus on the areas you feel need to be rebuilt.

When can I start dating again?

Most people who’ve been through divorce want to have another relationship sometime in their lives. Many want a good gap. Time to reflect. To heal. Others want to jump straight back into dating. There’s no rule that determines how long you should wait. But to be fair to yourself and your new partner, it’s important to have dealt with the residue of your last relationship before taking on the next one. Too much emotional baggage can sink a new romance before it’s even got afloat. Accept that early relationships are likely to be part of a rebuilding process. If you are honest and open about this to the other person then you will not feel to heavily burdened by responsibility. You will learn from these relationships: treat them respectfully and be prepared to move on.

Need to Knows

  • not all of your life has collapsed
  • take each day at a time
  • it’s impossible to say how long it will take to rebuild your life, you’ll rebuild it in a different way
  • developing the professional side of your life rebuilds self esteem.

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