Stripped of possession, love and reputation, you feel that your best hope at happiness lies in stringing up the disjointed things left from the divorce and making do with them. You then become a prisoner of your negative emotions with a life sentence that is devoid of true happiness. Life can really be beautiful for you if only you knew that happiness depends on your disposition and not your circumstances.
Like a hurricane, divorce comes, stripping you of your, home, family, and money. It also changes your life in so many ways you never expected. And if there’s anything we are certain of, is that divorce is never fair on men because the divorce sphere was designed to favor women. There’s no surprise to why you’re sad because we understand that it kills you inside to pay alimony to the person responsible for your pains, and it also hurts to leave your home. While some marriages had best be dissolved in the best interest of both parties, the divorce process is never an easy ride for anyone. Yet you have to move on entirely, not just physically.
If there has ever been any time one has to work for his happiness, it’s after divorce. A happy life after divorce is difficult to achieve and truly takes effort and commitment. You know this within your heart and it’s the same reason while you frown at people that just plainly tell you to find happiness after divorce, like it’s ever that easy. The bouts of depression, anger, resentment and unhealthy post divorce habits must have taken a toll on both your mental and physical health. Happiness then becomes what you have to work towards.
After marriage and a few kids, chances are high that you must have grown apart with most of your friends. Even the few ones that you’re still reasonably close to, take sides with your wife or judge you and make you sick with their pity. It even becomes much worse if the children shot you out. So it then becomes clear that you’re a loner on the road to your happiness. Only you are responsible for your happiness in life.
Life is meant to be beautiful and abundant. That’s why we make friends, build connections, pursue a career, find love, get married and build a family. And in the end personal fulfillment and happiness is the ultimate goal of all what we do. So you might have gotten the advice of given into the healthy pleasures of life that make you happy or setting out to achieve things you’ve always wanted, yet you don’t feel entirely happy after doing all these. While the impact of doing the things that bring you joy can’t be overemphasized in the pursuit of happiness, it becomes ineffective if you’ve not healed emotionally and you’re not in the right frame of mind. It’s just like when you are ill. Even when presented with your favorite food, not only do you find it difficult to eat, you also do not enjoy it.
Happiness after divorce starts when you’re done healing. It starts when that intense and unsettling feeling is gone when you’re in the presence of your ex wife. It starts when you positively rationalize your children’s decisions, actions and opinions. It starts when you’re willing to forgive. It starts when you know you have to play the bigger man and make compromises. It starts when you stop reacting badly to every negative situation. This is why a positive mindset is needed to move from that sad and depressed state to a state of happiness and peace. This isn’t some spiritual thing; it’s just the way the world works. Just as there is a law of gravity and other earthly laws, there are laws that influence your experience on earth. This is why what you feel, what you think and what manifest is always a match!
With a divorce in your life experience, there’s no doubt you must have had years or at worse months of experience in the relationship scene. So after healing and you find a new relationship, learn from your previous mistakes, notice the signs early, make corrections and don’t judge your new partner based on your experience with your ex wife. See yourself as the prize, your ex missed out on a great man, and just because she rejected you doesn’t mean you’re not valuable. You can still have your happily ever after with a good wife and beautiful children.
So what sustains a happy life? Gratitude! Give thanks for no reason, be happy with things you have. Be thankful that you can read this, be thankful that you have food to eat, be thankful for everything. Because when you’re thankful it not only creates a positive feeling of contentment, it also keeps you happy and attracts more of the same.
In the end, you’re alone on this earth and there can only be one of you. Even if you came to earth as a Siamese twin, you don’t share a soul with anybody, you don’t share the same mind, and you certainly don’t share the same emotions. Your happiness is solely dependent on you. So give into the healthy and moral things you like, achieve your dreams, feel good about yourself, don’t let little things bother you, have a positive mindset and be thankful for the things you have. You can’t have it all in life; there will be bad days and good days. But when you know for a fact that your happiness depends on your disposition to situations, I will say you’re already on the right track.
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