My story- By Kelvin:
We started dating almost four years ago and somehow I knew she was the one for me, or so I thought. I meet her in my last year of university. At first I couldn’t really believe why a lady like her could even give me attention, but she seemed like she was really into me so I gave us a shot.
Two years into the relationship we had already broken up five times, it was a roller coaster, hot-cold kind of relationship and it was wearing me out. I always thought that she was being childish and maybe a little distracted by what her friends were talking about in their relationship. So I tried to work on some of what she complained about me and adjusted to be her own kind of man.
I was almost the perfect man for her but I had one problem, I wasn’t too financially buoyant based on the fact that I came from a family that was a little below the middle class with three other siblings to cater for. It must have been the cash because most arguments always centred on it and no matter how much I tried to meet upto her expectations there was always another obligation coming up to suck up the one at hand.
In our fourth year I felt it was high time I proposed just to make her see how serious I was about her. I told a friend of mine about it and how much I had saved for the purpose. He advised me to observe her for a while before making my move, it sounded like the right thing to do so I took his advice.
After a while she stopped visiting as she used to do, she told me it was because of her job and I felt helpless because I couldn’t even secure a good paying job. Next it was the no response and cold attitude, I confronted her about it and she told me I was just being paranoid. I really chose to believe her because I hated any element of doubt in my life.
I was hanging out with my friends a few months later and one of them asked me if we were still together and I wondered why he was asking such an obvious question. I replied we were still together and he almost chocked on what he was drinking. He told me he thought we had already broken up because he saw her with a guy recently and they seemed a bit too cosy. I decided to ignore the shadow of doubt that was growing within me. That night was an epiphany for me because I started to notice things that were hiding in plain sight and I discovered that some of the signs were always there and I was the one who had been in denial.
After frequent observations and sometimes stalking, I finally confirmed that she was cheating on me with a guy that had more money than me and they had already been dating for almost 7 months. I felt like a part of me was broken but I kept myself in a state of semi self-denial and I wasn’t going to believe anything until I heard from her personally.
The last confrontation was what broke me totally. After asking why she cheated she said I could never really satisfy her with anything she ever wanted. I panicked that she had moved on without me, begged her to give me time to make it up to her and be the man that can satisfy her and give her what she needs. I was almost kneeling to beg and pouring out the lines I had already rehearsed in my mind to convince her to choose me until I noticed that she was wearing a ring. It was as if a bomb was dropped in my heart, she must have noticed that I saw it because what she told me next just confirmed it all. She was engaged, pregnant and her wedding was planned.
Since then, I have been very depressed and I feel that I can’t love again like I loved her. I stumbled on the invitation to her wedding from a mutual female friend and this only brought me more pain. To be honest right now I don’t know where to start from, I have always imagined that she was the one, now I don’t even want to wake up to reality. I have no drive to do anything because nothing motivates me. She has blocked me from all social media platforms and I have no connection to her. At times I just feel like calling her and asking how she is doing and if the guy is treating her well, but I can’t because it is not possible and this gets me angry because I still care a lot.
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