Breaking up with someone you’ve loved is a life-changing event. For everyone, the year after the break-up is a time of conflicting and powerful emotions, when you are required to make decisions and changes, while grieving for what you have lost.
First days and weeks
Priority: Self care. Get plenty of sleep, eat healthily, take moderate exercise, expect less of yourself.
Essential: Set up support systems for yourself and any children. Get help from friends, family, and professionals.
Important: Tell anyone who needs to know: employer, children’s schools,bank, social services, and anyone else who should know you need support and leeway.
First three months
Priority: Knowing where you stand. Work out your financial situation, living circumstances, work implications. If you’re not good at this, enlist someone to help you.
Essential: Handling the emotional roller-coaster. Find someone to talk to regularly, whether a friend, professional or support group.
Important: If your joint affairs are complicated get legal advice.
First six months
Priority: Recognising your circumstances have changed. Live within your means and find the extra practical support you need as a single person. Take advice from others in this situation and support organisation.
Essential: Building bridges. If possible, make peace with your ex so that negotiations between you can be handled amicably.
Important: Enjoying yourself. If it doesn’t come naturally, ask friends to help you fix up things to look forward to every week. It’ll put your problems in perspective.
Priority: Dealing with the legal implications. By the end of the year you should be on the way to a fair settlement.
Essential: Taking your emotional temperature. If you’re still finding it difficult to cope with your feelings, even with the help of supportive friends, consider counseling or therapy.
Important: Exploring opportunities. Start looking at how you’d like your life to improve and investigate what steps you need to for it to happen.
Please Submit Your Own Story…
Please consider sharing your story with others suffering now. How you coped? How you felt? What helped? What were the circumstances that led up to your separation? How do you cope with loneliness? The more you can share the better.
Your story really does help others who are going through the same gut wrenching pain. Your story reinforces the fact that they are not alone in their suffering.