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Children – its just not fair!

My Divorce Story – By Sam K:

Hi all, I need to vent some spleen! My ex wife had an affair with a ‘friend’, I found them in our bedroom whilst my 3 kids were in the house. I had a breakdown as I had no idea after 17 years of happy marriage. I got help and tried to fix it but to no avail and after 6 months asked for a divorce. After her getting custody, an entire house, most of the possessions and a very nasty time we were finally divorced.

I pay maintenance and am really struggling but keep a very strong and loving relationship with my kids and shield them from as much damage as I can.

Last year, on the first day of his exams she threw my 16 yr boy out because she could not handle him and I now look after him.

Now, she has just announced she is taking the other two (7 and 12 yrs) to live with her and her new boyfriend 300 miles away.

I am gutted. It is just not fair. I have lost a loving marriage, all I worked for all my life, have depression and now I stand to lose having my kids close so I can see them when I, and they, want.

They have been ‘given the treatment’ in buttering them up for the move and I have been told my visitation will be two weekends in four (which is as it is now apart from I also see them every Wednesday) but this is not the issue. What about the long drive they (and me) will have to endure. I can see them getting hacked off with being in a car for hours on end all the time and therefore in the end I am surely going to lose out.

I want to support my kids – it is so important for me and them. I realize I have to compromise and can see they may get a secure and loving life in the long term (although they would get that where they are). But this IS JUST NOT FAIR!

All the way through this I have sacrificed so much rather than fight or my kids get caught in the firing line and now – this is the last straw. I know I will always be their dad and will of course try to make the best.

I am totally gutted.

Anyone been through this?

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2 thoughts on “Children – its just not fair!”

  1. I agree, it just stinks. I can appreciate there should be protection for fathers who are out of line but the current legislation makes it impossible for fathers like me who do care for their children.

  2. I’m so sorry you are having such a rough time. No wonder you feel so depressed. And yes, it does seem unfair. Do you have any recourse through the courts about this? Can’t be in the best interests of your children to be so far away from you? Any chance you can contest it? I’d take legal advice if I were you. Do not go down without a fight.


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