Phoenix Men is a fellowship that offers advice and support to heartbroken, lonely or ageing men.

Child Access Rights For Fathers HELP!


Hi Phoenix Men, I need some advice from other guys that may have been in a similar situation to my own. I split with my ex-wife last May, I undertook and completed a do-it-yourself divorce by December.

Everything was going fine with regard to access to my two boys aged 12 & 7 on alternate weekends. The ex-wife moved a new man into the family home a week after I left. I myself met someone new in November, and we got on very well, so I thought I would introduce her to the boys. I told my boys to tell me if they liked my new girlfriend. As it happens, we all got on great and my youngest son kept telling me to let her know I could keep her.

The ex-wife found out about my new partner and about me introducing my two boys to her and ever since has restricted my access to my sons. I have not seen the two boys for five weeks now and last night when they eventually returned my call, my youngest son said he did not want to see me and my eldest son said he wanted to stay with his smaller brother. I have pleaded with my ex-wife to talk to them, but she insists she is just respecting the wishes of the boys.

When talking on the phone, my youngest son kept whispering to his mum asking her what to say.

I am so angry and frustrated about this, it is just not right, and I do not want to become a statistic. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for hearing me out. Danny.


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2 thoughts on “Child Access Rights For Fathers HELP!”

  1. This is not untypical. It can be overcome but you need to act fast to prevent the staus quo. Make an application to court. Request the contact that you used to have and slap the form in. ASAP. You may consider another added value option which is to ask the court staff, (Very knowledgeable and helpful) about making an Exparte application for interim contact. Not sure as I didn’t need one, but you basically sit in the court until a judge comes free, they take you in, you say you want an interim order to see the children and the judge will grant it. The other route will take a few weeks. My boys didn’t want to stay overnight. No reason given, just because. It became very clear very quickly that they were saying what their mum wanted. It was dealt with, worked on and overcome. Cafcass will know what to look for and how to deal with it. This is not your children’s thoughts, its your ex because of your new partner. My oldest was off school for 4 days through trauma of meeting Minnie! Cafcass see it all the time. I wouldn’t mention the children approving/disapproving of your new partner and it being their choice if she stayed. Bit too much responsibility for them. Just say they got on OK

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  2. Thanks Gregg Going Mad here, I have to say it was only easy by staying as calm as possible when inwardly the strain is pretty hard. I wish this next part was not happening as I was hoping to keep some kind of courtesy between the ex and I, her attitude is really making me despise her, I think I am well rid!!

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