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Cheating Girlfriend – I’m So Hurt

My Divorce Story – By Arty P:

There’s a girl I met in my days at the University. I would say she was pretty out of my league but miraculously I won her heart, with persistence of course. Dating her was magical, it seemed like a fairy tale. Then after graduation, we were still rocking the boat despite being in different states. After a while, she suggested we get an apartment and move in together, which we did. I couldn’t stay afloat in the labour market by not quickly getting a good job and she was supportive despite that. After a while, she got hired at a top firm and imagine how joyous we were, little did I know that the bad times were on the way.

I’m not lazy and it wasn’t as if I never saw job opportunities. I just had high expectations. I stayed at home and did all the house work and cooking whilst still looking for a job. It was all good for the first few months till her behaviour started to change and the late nights started. At first, I thought it was the stress attached to the demands of a top job and I kept my cool. She usually called to inform me if she wasn’t going to return home early, but after some time, she stopped calling to inform me of potential late nights at work and I got angry every time.

Our loving relationship turned sour and I never saw it coming. I’m not the type to snoop around my partner’s phone just to see what she has been up to. But one day, she left for work and forgot her phone at home. My girlfriend and I bought the same phone, just as a symbol of love. So, I saw the phone beeping after watching a movie on the couch. Innocently I took the phone and swiped to see the notification. The first thing I saw was a nude picture of my girlfriend, it was sent to someone on her messenger app. I was petrified and heartbroken. This was someone I loved so much, someone I could die for. Only to be betrayed with all the years invested. But I wasn’t going to lose my relationship easily as I was determined to make it work. So, I confronted her, to my dismay she denied the allegation that she was cheating, gave some silly unfathomable excuses that I can’t even remember. Yet, I loved her too much to break up with her.

I never for once made advances to any other woman while we were dating, I felt fate had dealt me a bad hand and my unemployed status made it worse. She kept using it as a point of reference to shatter my ego as a man. I tried to reason from her point of view and made up mind that I would get a job.

During the period I was out job hunting, my girlfriend and I were just basically roommates. We were just tolerating each other and the once amazing sex was gone. We hadn’t had sex in weeks and she kept complaining of stress at work even though I knew she was lying. Call me an insecure man, I won’t mind! After that first cheating incident, I kept prying into her phone whenever she wasn’t around. I knew she was cheating and who she was cheating with but somehow, I kept mum and still tried to make the relationship work because I loved her and had a forgiving heart.

Later, my girlfriend broke up with me and moved in with the guy she was cheating with. Words couldn’t describe the pain I felt. I cried for days and I’m still yet to get over it. Even though I have a good job now and I’m making progress on moving on, the pain still lingers. I doubt if I’ll ever trust any woman or be interested in a relationship. I’m deeply hurt.

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3 thoughts on “Cheating Girlfriend – I’m So Hurt”

  1. Arty this is so sad. I find it intriguing as to how most ladies change in relationships once they get a better paying job than their partner. Something relating to your story happened to my close friend. He is a very cool person and they used to be so good together up until he lost his job and his finances went down. His fiancé started acting up and started comparing him to other guys that had it all going for them. This took a toll on their relationship and she finally broke up with him after so much drama. Now my friend is doing well for himself and she wants him back. Like how can you treat someone so bad because things were not going well for him at some point in his life and when things become better you want back in?! Just try to move on and a better person will come around. She obviously didn’t deserve you or your love.

  2. Hi, I think that the entirety of the blame cannot really be shifted on your girl. The fact remains that you were the man of the house and so the responsibility of providing for the house actually rested on you. In as much as she showed a very high level of understanding while you were job hunting, she couldn’t have carried on for too long. I am not trying to justify what she did, obviously no one should be made to watch his/her partner suddenly change and start cheating on them, but maybe you should have put more effort into getting a job and ensuring that she never had the chance to mess with your ego.

  3. Partners taking advantage of the situation of their better half is horrible and can never be defended. I really can’t imagine the barrage of physical and mental insults that you must have endured during those trying times. But it’s a good thing that it’s all in the past now and you have moved on. I know that it hurts and you never want to open your heart up to any other woman but your healing process may not be complete if you are not willing to open up. Just be thankful both of you were yet to go as far as tying the knot before you saw what she really could be like. You got a job already which is nice and a new sense of direction. Just focus on yourself and keep getting better. We can’t change the past but all we can do is enjoy the present and make the future better.


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