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Tell The Kids Divorce – But How? And When?

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Your relationship is coming apart and you’re stressed out. You realize that sooner or later you will have to face your children and let them know what is going on.

If your at the point where you need to tell your children about your divorce (or separation which will definitely lead to divorce), keep these ideas in mind during your first few conversations with the kids:

  • Both parents should talk to the children together, if you can do so calmly and reasonably.
  • Do not be surprised if your children seem shocked by the news. Even in families where parents have
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Coping with Anger

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Why do we get so angry?

Even without the usual hurts and disappointments, the separation process may stir more anger than we could have thought possible. Intense anger, even vengeful feelings of rage, are often part of the breaking-up process.

Some of our reasons may go deeper than whatever appears on the surface. Deeper forces which intensify the conflict include:

Erosion of good will

Married partners often view each other with a “positive bias” giving each other the benefit of the doubt, and assuming good, rather than evil intent. This positive bias mutes anger and hurts. But sometime before the … Keep Reading

Recovering From Betrayal

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Accepting, Learning, and Trusting Again

1. Acknowledging, Grieving, and Accepting the Wound:

Many of us who have separated and/or divorced feel betrayed by our former partner, and this is especially true when we’ve discovered that our partner has been having a secret affair. Betrayal, like death, requires that we accept what has happened and find a place to put it in our minds where it doesn’t hurt forever. This is often very hard to do.

The last stage of grief is acceptance, achieving some level of peace with what has happened. On the way to finding this peace, we may … Keep Reading

Telling Your Children About Divorce

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Telling your children of your impending divorce won’t be easy, no matter how you do it.

Tell Your Children What is Happening

Franklin D. Roosevelt knew the awesomeness of fear when he said, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” Fear of the unknown feeds on itself. And the less children know, the more they may worry. Ideally, parents should agree to tell their children together that they are getting divorced. The explanation should be simple. The details of who did what and why the parents are divorcing would not be a part of the explanation (don’t make trial … Keep Reading