Hi guys my name is Mike. Today marks exactly twenty years since I got divorced and I am not sure why I am suddenly feeling this way. One would think it is twenty years and by now I should have made peace with it. Yet, deep down I don’t feel okay. It is like an emotion that I buried deep down for a while and it just keeps resurfacing.
I recently got retired about six months ago and I think it makes me feel more useless waking up in the morning and not doing anything. My old bones are just getting weaker every day and for now, no one wants to hire a sixty years old with arthritis.
I have a daughter who is far away in Australia but we seldom get in touch. These days, I find myself getting a weird sense of emptiness. I feel so lonely and with nothing to do that will keep my mind off this loneliness. And please don’t get me started on dating. I think I am too old for that. For now, only alcohol is good to me. I return home late at night drunk because nothing really appeals to me any more. What makes me feel really sad is that when I was younger I always had a different view about how my old age will be and it was nothing like this.
I never dreamt that at this stage of my life I would be a pathetic cranky old man with no family. The way I see things now, it doesn’t look like things are going to end well for me. How can I find happiness or at least feel alive again?
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