Wife moved out three months ago and is already seeing another man.

My Divorce Story – By Edward Billingham:

Dear all. I have just found this site, and am feeling SO much better, for the support offered by each of your stories. Mine is very similar. Our difficulties built up over our eleven year marriage, we started divorce proceedings last year, and my Wife moved out three months ago and is already seeing another man. To my great sadness, we previously went through many months of counseling, but could not resolve our differences. Of these, I will only say that she applied for Sole Residency, but that the Court Welfare Service has recommended Shared Residency, after hearing both our sides. Now, as so many of you have talked about, I am devastated by our separation, and an overwhelming feeling of Grief.

There are some better times, particularly when the children (7 and 5) spend their half weeks with me, but mostly I am really struggling to come to terms with the loss of our marriage / relationship. As many of you say, we have committed our lives to our “other half” and are having Huge difficulties in adjusting to the fact that we are now single again. I have heard all the talk about time being a healer, and the other stuff, but somehow it means very little in the depths of my despair, when I lie awake at night trying not to dwell on my shattered dreams. I will admit to my faults, I am not perfect. I tried SO HARD, but perhaps did not know the right things to do? Perhaps it was not meant to be? Thank you for the strength I have been able to draw from all your stories.

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2 thoughts on “Wife moved out three months ago and is already seeing another man.

  1. Welcome from one of the gang, and please feel free to share your sadness with us…. We all know and understand what that is like, and you can be free to offload in anonymity. There is little advice that I can give, other than that time does make a difference (won’t say it’s a healer as don’t you get pi..ed off when people say that) and that your children need you as much as their Mum.

    Keep up the good work in having contact with them, their smiles will keep you going in the darkest of days. It is difficult to say why relationships go wrong and I don’t feel qualified to judge anyone else on that score. I just know when you try and try it sometimes still doesn’t work out and love just isn’t enough !!!! Leaving a marriage is rated next to death of a partner on the stress scale so you must allow yourself to feel the sadness and accept it is natural to feel that way. Don’t be hard on yourself, don’t try to walk before you can run on the “I’m alright” stuff…. as it has a habit of jumping up and kicking your backside when you think you ARE okay – I have just been to that point myself….

  2. Clive, I couldn’t put it better myself. Stick with us Edward and we will share the bad times and any good ones that come along as well. We are all going through this bereavement together. It will take time and a lot of effort and support but we will make it.

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