Single and lonely depression

My Loneliness Story – By Alex:

I’m just really depressed and I have been for months now. It’s just as if the whole world is against me. And this makes me wonder why do good people have it bad? Deep within myself I know that I’m a kind and compassionate man and it’s just so frustrating with the way life has dealt with me. Even in relationships I don’t find it easy and at times it makes me feel like I’m unlovable.

I’ve only been in two relationships and in both cases my ex girlfriends left me. The most recent one is that of my girlfriend of 2 years. She said she doesn’t love me anymore out of the blues and my soul within me is distressed. I thought it was one of those fights we had which we eventually talk out and make up. I thought it was all a joke till she started moving her things out of my apartment. I’m still quite shocked this is all happening. I mean I didn’t even see the signs. I thought we were madly in love. I’ve been a complete mess since she moved out and can barely concentrate on anything.

I didn’t know that the break up affected me that much until my boss started complaining about how I wasn’t concentrating at work and how that was affecting my productivity. I mean I know I don’t have a lot of friends to hang out with and she was my world for almost two years. I can’t seem to pick myself up. I just want to stay in one place and mope, hoping that things will turn back to how they used to be. You might think, oh I am lazy. I am not; I am just so tired of being so strong for long and not getting anything in return. I feel as if some people are not cut out for happiness because no matter how far I pursue it, it never last.

So most days I just lay on the couch with a bottle of cold beer, dwell on the past that gave me a little hope of happiness and never try to think of the present. You may think I’m delusional, well maybe I am, but I will rather dwell on those good memories than face this one. I am tired of being so strong every time and I am going to allow this weakness to be consolation. I just…I don’t know what I want anymore. I really just feel like I can’t talk to anyone; like no one understands me or would give a damn if I talked to them. Anyway…Sorry. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t even be posting this.

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8 thoughts on “Single and lonely depression

  1. I can relate to you. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder this past summer, though I’d long suspected that I suffered from some sort of depression. Since junior high, actually.

    I agree with you. No one says what they mean anymore. We all just bottle everything up and put on an act, mostly out of fear that no one will care enough to simply listen.

    I don’t have any wise pearls of wisdom to give you. But I hope you’ll take comfort when I tell you that you aren’t alone. I myself need to be reminded of that from time to time. Hang in there, and never give in. Don’t let the darkness win.

  2. It’s funny, so many of us lonely, sad, finding so many others, lonely, sad, that we should be collectively revel in our shared experience of being so emotionally close, sharing our inner thoughts and feelings; something we wouldn’t do with just anybody yet we do it here with everybody and receive acceptance, yet we’re still secluded and lonely.

    I typed, “why are we all so lonely” into google and found this thread.

    The path is easier than it looks, we can all be who we want to see in the mirror, once we make peace with who we are. That sound so trite and vapid despite being true. May we all find out muse, and may they not despise us.

  3. Well i am feeling lonely too… I live thousands of miles far away from my home… Working now.. I don’t know what happened to me… Girl’s always think i am some kind of LOSER… Boy’s they think i am stupid… I am not that stunningly beautiful or born with silver spoon… I am just an average guy… I don’t understand…

    No one is ready to become my friend… I have tried a lot of times… No result… No friends , no gal friend and my parents are far away… I am depressed… I am smoking a lot these days… I know that is harmful but still that is my only friend which is with me for sometime at least… I have even thought of suicide …

    The only thing that is keeping me alive is my parents. I can’t go back to my parents too because there is not that much job available there… I feel these days like i am no good and not qualified to live… I don’t know what to do… No one is here to hear me… Please people help me to get out of this hell… Everyday i am crying till my eye’s dry… I don’t know what to do.. I am like a man in the forest with no way out… HELP ME…

  4. I wake up at 5:30am every morning. I stumble into the shower ,get dressed and walk out the door and get in my car I go to work only to return back home to sit around my apartment. I get hungry and either microwave some premade meal or cook something only to throw away half of it.I go to bed only to wake up and repeat it all over again. Sometimes when I’m sitting in my apartment I wish I was working then I remind myself of how much i hate my job. It seems like a endless rut for 6 years and probably many more to follow.

    I havent dated a girl since i was in school 14 years ago. I often think that i lost my charm or maybe i never had any to begin with. The majority of my friends all they do is sit around drinking and partying. That got boring to me a long time ago. When i do hang out with them i get annoyed by their drunken loudness and obnoxious ways. The rest of my friends are married with kids which i could hang out with if i found sitting at a park watching my buddies kids eat sand and crap his diaper.

    Everyone’s got a sob story and mines far from the worst. It still sucks the same. I find what K-san said to be very true. What is the point of life? Love? family? friends? All of these things have seemed to escape me in life.

  5. Hey all, I’m in the same boat. Ever since I started work, I’ve lost all my friends through one thing or another. I’m a 33 yr old guy. I dunno where it all went wrong but I have found myself here. Ive been like this for so long now.

    I’m trying though to get out of this rut, I’ve joined a Fire brigade auxiliary service in the hope this will get me some new friends, its a voluntary organisation. I’ve also joined the local Gym. My look on things is that if you work or see the same people over a number of times, you’ll eventually get to know them and become friends. From there I’m not going to make the same mistakes that I have done in the past. I’m going to make time for them, no matter what.

    Hopefully this will lead to meeting someone special, possibly through the friends! I cannot/refuse to fall back into this rut. Also I’ve noticed that since I’ve been lonely, I’ve tried being ‘nice’ to everyone, even if I feel down. I think this is wearing a bit thin, I’m going to be myself from here on in. If I dont like the person, I will tell them. People will respect you more if you have depth to your personality. If your nice to everyone, some people will get bored of you and disprespect you.

    Although now Christmas is coming and I have absolutely no plans whatsoever for the whole holiday. All those Xmas songs on the radio, on the TV and in the shops are like knives into my back, stabbing away at my soul. Going through town on a Sunday seeing all the couples, It hurts so much sometimes

    Sometimes I wish people would carry advertisement banners around with them. Walking through the city centre, you could see if anyone is lonely, single or happy etc.

  6. The fact remains that we all need to work on ourselves regardless of what people we date do or don’t. You also really need to love yourself because you can be the ripest peach in the world and there’s still going to be someone who hates peaches. Then again, If the reasons why they both left are reasonable, and you think you need to work on yourself, then maybe you should. So is there someone that won’t bail out on you? Yes!!! But you probably will never meet her or realize it’s her because you’re currently depressed. The right change in mindset is all you’ll ever need to overcome depression, so start seeing life from a positive perspective and I guarantee that the universe will not only align for you, but things will also change for good.

  7. For starters, I don’t think the fact that you are not in a relationship or that you had a bad relationship is a bad thing. Not all relationships will lead to the next level, you just have to keep carrying on until you find that girl who likes you for who you are. See your relationships as rehearsals for the Grand finale (marriage). So it’s OK to make mistakes. Just pick the experience you earn from every relationship and learn from it. I for one have only had one relationship and I don’t worry about it that much. I do feel lonely once in a while, but one thing that keeps me going is that I accept myself for who I am and I enjoy my freedom. In summary, you should never make relationships food for your soul that your life solely depends on.

  8. You really can’t afford to be depressed at this stage because it will cost you so much more than just having two bad relationships. Depression will lay waste to everything you thought was good. It will make you unhealthy and speed up your chance of meeting the Grim reaper. So just have to find a way to rise above depression. This site is not just for us to find other lonely people and revel in the fact that we’re not the only one that’s depressed. There are lot of resources on this site that can help you overcome depression. Just be sure to navigate well.

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