Overcoming Loneliness

My Loneliness Story – By PB:

I have been lonely for a while now, and I think it’s fair to say that I have finally gotten it all figured out. So you might ask why are we lonely, even if we´re blessed with family and friends? Even if we are free from all cares in the world, And even if we long for all of that we cannot and then finally attain it. The answer is not far from the fact that all those material things and achievements are irrelevant because loneliness is our own and it is in an essence of who we are.

He or she that is an individual, with the smallest hint of an owned personality or uniqueness is DOOMED to be lonely. This is because NO ONE can claim that they really understand what it is like to be that person for an entire lifetime. And you know what, we all have our own personalities and uniqueness by simply being unique individuals, hence loneliness is a burden we must all carry.

The idiosyncrasy of every man subjects him to loneliness because as an individual you differ from every other person in the world. No one can truly relate to you on a personal level, and no one can truly satisfy all your needs. Thus it is a choice we make to believe if someone else is truly sympathetic; a choice of faith in that person. But logically they cannot because they are not us.

Then you wonder, why do we need people when they can’t solve our problem of loneliness and keep us forever happy? Even when they make an effort, a lot of factors can come in to ruin everything. We might take them for granted, they might get suffocated by our neediness, and the cold hands of death might claim their lives. So embrace your loneliness, even if it hurts, and dare to cherish it, because it is who you are.

I’m so happy I found this website. Finally I can find solace in other people’s story, knowing that I’m not alone in this struggle. Some people have it way worse than I do and this even makes me more thankful to God because it could have been worse. On the other hand, even though I feel good knowing I don’t face all this alone, of what good is a support group if doesn’t make you feel better or helps you overcome a challenge? I think we all have to find a way to overcome our loneliness because it makes no sense if we derive all the benefit and support on this platform, and still die of depression.

So these days I try to find a balance in everything in life. Unlike before, I try as much as possible not to allow trivial things and disappointments affect me. There are days I’m happy and there are also days when I’m really down. On days when I feel down and lonely, I just consider my present situation as a phase and a natural phenomenon that I will get over, or what better way can a person overcome loneliness?

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12 thoughts on “Overcoming Loneliness

  1. I think typing what we all typed on google is in a way like a last desperate attempt in despair to somehow find a solution to the loneliness that we all are experiencing.

    How about if all try and interact more progressively and proactively? Or maybe even contact each other?

    At least no matter what diverse & different backgrounds we may be from, there is loneliness that still unites us in our feelings.

    Opinions / reactions…?

  2. Yeah, life sure sucks sometimes. I feel so lonely not having any friends. I hate being stuck in my apartment. Got nothing to do, but I’m too depressed to change things, really glad i found this website.

  3. Feeling alone and isolated has taken a harsh toll on my hope for filling “the empty space.” You know, the heavy chest and the tense gut, that’s “the empty space.” Well, right now I feel lonely. I feel by myself, and I feel like no one really cares. You see, I think I felt so bad about feeling lonely before because no one was around to keep my mind occupied. When we are bored and alone is often the time that we spend looking into ourselves, and I couldn’t be satisfied with the self that I faced.

    Once I focused on changing myself into who I want to be, it became easier to be alone every time. The loneliness isn’t caused by a lack of attention, or a lack of communication. It’s brought on by low self-esteem, and until we rightfully accept ourselves and seize our opportunity to produce change in ourselves, we will continue to wander aimlessly, searching for answers that we already have. So don’t be lonely guys, just enjoy how real, how unique, and how capable you really are.

    Best wishes to all who read this! God bless.

  4. I feel pretty lonely tonight; well it’s been that way for awhile actually. I don’t understand it, i have friends and am close with my family. I used to have confidence and feel good about myself and all that has changed. Now I just plain feel sorry for myself which I despise doing but I just can’t help it. I’m just at a dead end in the road and it really is a hard way to live my life. I am out of options right now that seem to have sunny dispositions to them. The funny thing is, is that even though I tell my friends this, it doesn’t seem to make a lasting impression, making me feel even more alone.

  5. Hey PB being lonely sucks. Lately I have started to realize that no one gives a damn anymore … society has changed, no one gives a rat’s ass about others or about themselves …. Especially my generation. I just don’t understand it though; I am a kind person, understanding, compassionate, and confident. Yet people completely ignore me! I guess there is no room in the world for people like me anymore.

    “My family is great. My parents have worked so hard to ensure I have everything I want in life, and my brother is my best friend. But I can’t honestly say that I have another friend in this entire world that I can count on. If I died today, my mom, dad, and brother would be the only ones attending the funeral or even giving a damn. That’s a painful feeling.”

    People like to pretend they care, but I know the only ones that care are my parents. But hey, at least my parents love me. That’s better than nothing …

  6. The newbies reaching out from their own loneliness was what got me the most because that’s me! I think sometimes we think we have the weight of the world on our shoulders but then we read or hear about someone elses problems. Talk about that saying ‘there is always someone worse off than yourself’. I don’t think it will make my problems worse, in fact it tends to put mine into perspective.

    Attitude is everything and even body language will give things away. When I have walked around feeling sorry for myself, no-one ever smiles at me. When I am on the phone and smiling and giggling or just generally in a happy mood, people respond they really do. I get people smiling back at me just coz i’m happy about something. Just think about the things that interest you in life and then go out to those places in the hopes of meeting some new people.

  7. I constantly self-pity myself.

    I hold my head high with confidence but all of my other body language is probably off. I try to always be optimistic about anything but the negativity clicks in sooner or later.

    What I am trying to do is not think about the problem at hand, in doing that i hope it will work itself out, only time will tell… I am putting up the fight against loneliness, one day at a time. i know doing “nothing” is not much of an approach but I’ve tried making new friends or going out with old friends.

  8. It already sounds like you have made a step in the right direction, as you have been a little more open about what troubles you. To walk confidently when you don’t feel it inside is a very difficult thing to do. Don’t stress too much about it, that will only make it worse. Negativity comes from the fear of the unknown. What if this happens? What if that happens? What would happen if….’. Most of the time, none of the above happens and then we think ourselves as silly for ever worrying about it in the first place.

    Hopefully not thinking about the problem, will make it go away for you but it usually doesn’t work like that. It usually stares us in the face until we do something about it. We all have problems. Try to analyze them. If you can become more knowledgeable about the problem/s, they they are far easier to work out. Write down your worries. Things out on paper, are better than in your head. Then look at them and work out which ones are even worth worrying about. Also remember, what is out of your control to change is also not worth worrying about. I don’t think there are that many of us that stay in contact with our old school friends on a regular basis, for many years because we all move on, get older, have different jobs, get married, have kids. Life is forever evolving.

    Everyone needs an outlet of some kind, talk to your family and have interests and keep your life busy. Good luck.

  9. I’m 28 and I have quite a bit going for me in every way. Yet here I sit at midnight with no one to talk to. Four years ago I had my own townhouse, a fiance, two cars, a good job, and scores of friends. But I let it all disintegrate because I was angry at the state of things and felt that there was really no purpose in life that isn’t based on having what others do not. Other than this computer I own very little. A guitar, my clothes. I thought that I might reboot after simplifying things to this point, but now that I’m here I wonder what the point would be. I wouldn’t mind doing something positive to help others, but I’m just not a self-starter. I feel detached and listless. I could do anything at all in this world.

    The trouble is, I don’t like this world. Our lives are, for the first time in recorded history, nearly cut off from the planet we live on and the cycles of life that have governed it so well for so long. Why would I get a job? I don’t need more things. A car? To drive around for hours like I used to, always searching for something else to take my mind off of how pointless this society has left the individual? Maybe you can see where I’m coming from. I’m not lonely for a friend so much as for a purpose.

    I want a real community where people rely on each other for more than just company, but for survival. That sounds harsh to even write, but this was how it worked for thousands of years. Now, no one needs anyone. We can live just fine with generic goods made by a faceless nobody. Bummer.

  10. Every human will always have periods when they can’t help but feel lonely, the onus now rests on us to either continue to dwell in that loneliness and let it consume us, lead to either depression or illness. We can try our best to overcome loneliness by ensuring that we engage ourselves in various activities, as a busy mind will in time forget its loneliness. We are never truly alone in this world as even the weirdest person has one person who still thinks and cares about him/her, so instead of pushing that person away, we should try to embrace them and let them ease us out of our loneliness.

  11. The first step in finding a solution to loneliness is to keep an open mind, confide in those around you and let them know what troubles you because their advice might be the solution you have been searching for. Read up on books of those that have overcome depression, you will learn a whole lot from them and you will end up getting to know that you are not the first to have gone through very difficult situations.

  12. Your theory on loneliness is truly thoughtful and true to an extent because in the end we all experience loneliness at some point. While you are correct about loneliness being a no respecter of status or how big your social circle might be, I don’t buy into the idea of owning it and embracing it. Loneliness is not only bad for our mental health, it also has detrimental effects on our physical health. Truly we can all do better and rise above loneliness.

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