How do you get through the constant stomach churning feeling?

My Divorce Story – By Lucas:

I’m sure everyone has been through this but please could someone tell me how do you get through the constant stomach churning feeling of wondering what the other partner is doing, when my wife and I were together we always knew the other was safe now we are apart this is hard to come to terms with!! Then there is the almost certain situation of another party on the scene just to complicate matter. I don’t want to be the jealous but I am having a hard time at the moment as it’s like a fairground ride. We have been separated for 4 months and no solicitors are involved yet and we are talking which is good and inviting each other to their houses.

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5 thoughts on “How do you get through the constant stomach churning feeling?

  1. Lucas I understand only to well the agonizing emotions you describe having been separated for almost 2 yrs, it is hard thinking about your x partner living their own life especially when it is with someone else. Even though I have now accepted my situation like everything else it takes time to come to terms with dealing with these unwanted feelings. Unfortunately just when they appear to be getting better it’s as though they suddenly come back to haunt you completely out of the blue, which seems to be happening to me at the moment. I’m sorry I don’t have any answers for you except people say to keep busy, make good support networks (this site is mine) take up new interests etc.

    I try & do believe I am getting there ‘with a little help from my friends’. It is good that you are able to talk after 4 months and maybe there is some light at the end of the tunnel. As for being good friends & visiting each other in my own experience I now wonder if that has been the right thing for me or has only caused me more pain in the long run. One thing you can be sure of is that you are not alone in feeling this way as we are all on the fairground ride together.

  2. Hi my thoughts are,…if keeping “friends” is causing you more pain, then dont do it…i have always thought, if they choose to be with somebody else…how can you ever feel or trust them again…you will always have that doubt in your mind…..if you think you can live with that thought…then go on…but I suspect its hurting like mad…cut freee…… I’m not abnormal, there is no-one else yet which is good in a funny way, but I am dreading that day. I do wonder if the person who has left the marriage and setup on their own has any remorse, my wife says there are no regrets and never wants to come back into my life. I should be angry but I just wish we were all a family as one again, I’m prepared to make allowances, (but not if someone else is involved)

  3. It is nice to know that everyone has these feelings and one day I’m positive and try to think that I have to plan to make my life happy forever as a single person which puts a different prospective on things, some good some bad.

  4. I was left two weeks ago for someone else. I had an idea of what was going on, but not until I could prove it would she admit it. She has since left and moved in with her NEW man. In the evenings it cuts me up so badly. To add to it all, we moved 100 miles away from friends and family just 3 weeks before I found out. I wonder sometimes how to carry on, the gut churning and crying has cost me a lot of weight – I just can’t eat, and feel I can’t get things together. Help!

  5. I could have written the same statement. I travel a lot and it has been 5 weeks since the big bust up. Staying in hotels is not fun and me too have had such churning feelings in my gut, Well, we just have to pick our selves up and get some interest and good friends and look to the future. It’s damn hard for me but I am determined. I feel for you and hang in there Lucas if only for your self dignity.

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