Healing The Wounds After Divorce

Submitted By Dennis Marshall :

How it feels

The end of a long-term relationship, or marriage, can leave deep wounds in our sense of who we are. Loss, a lack of self-esteem, a sense of failure, sadness and anger can all feel intense and very hard to bear.

The wound feels raw and painful, at the start you will be obsessed by it. It will start to heal and in time a scar will form. The scar will become less and less noticeable but will always remain as a reminder of your past.

Don’t repress

The most important way to begin to recover from the pain of a divorce is to allow yourself to feel these emotions. It is common for people to repress emotions – perhaps because of embarrassment in front of family or friends – but repression can actually make the feelings last longer, as well as make them more intense.


Talk to a trusted friend or seek counselling or therapy so that you can express your feelings safely. It is also important to look after yourself.

Take care

Eat a balanced diet and exercise regularly – a regular walk can be as helpful as an hour in the gym to combat depression. Try to put aside a desire for revenge if a partner has betrayed you as this can ultimately make you feel much worse.

When possible try to just sit in a quiet and comfortable place. Focus on your breathing, try to relax your shoulders, try to let go and feel your feelings. If you practice this, you will find it a powerful way to release your feelings and enable you to move on.

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