Divorce First Year Action Plan

Submitted By Benjamin Yates:

Breaking up with someone you’ve loved is a life-changing event. For everyone, the year after the break-up is a time of conflicting and powerful emotions, when you are required to make decisions and changes, while grieving for what you have lost.

First days and weeks

Priority: Self care. Get plenty of sleep, eat healthily, take moderate exercise, expect less of yourself.

Essential: Set up support systems for yourself and any children. Get help from friends, family, and professionals.

Important: Tell anyone who needs to know: employer, children’s schools,bank, social services, and anyone else who should know you need support and leeway.

First three months

Priority: Knowing where you stand. Work out your financial situation, living circumstances, work implications. If you’re not good at this, enlist someone to help you.

Essential: Handling the emotional roller-coaster. Find someone to talk to regularly, whether a friend, professional or support group.

Important: If your joint affairs are complicated get legal advice.

First six months

Priority: Recognising your circumstances have changed. Live within your means and find the extra practical support you need as a single person. Take advice from others in this situation and support organisation.

Essential: Building bridges. If possible, make peace with your ex so that negotiations between you can be handled amicably.

Important: Enjoying yourself. If it doesn’t come naturally, ask friends to help you fix up things to look forward to every week. It’ll put your problems in perspective.

First year

Priority: Dealing with the legal implications. By the end of the year you should be on the way to a fair settlement.

Essential: Taking your emotional temperature. If you’re still finding it difficult to cope with your feelings, even with the help of supportive friends, consider counselling or therapy.

Important: Exploring opportunities. Start looking at how you’d like your life to improve and investigate what steps you need to for it to happen.

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